First Officer's log, stardate 48521.5.
Odo and l are returning to Deep Space 9
after reviewing security procedures at Prophet's Landing,
the Bajoran colony closest to the Cardassian border.
Those orbital sensor platforms should give the colonists plenty of warning
in case the Cardassians decide to violate the new treaty.
How did your meeting with Security Chief Bemar go?
Was he properly impressed by the depth of your expertise?
- Odo, is something bothering you? - What makes you say that?
You haven't said five words to me since we left Prophet's Landing.
lf l've done something to offend you, tell me what it is.
- lt's not important. - Whatever you say.
- lt's not worth making an issue about. - Well, glad to hear it.
lt's just...
When Governor Avesta invited us to dinner at his house...
Go on.
- You said no. - And?
You never asked me if l wanted to go.
You wanted to go?
- Not particularly. - Then what's the problem?
- You never asked what l wanted. - Odo, you don't eat.
And you hate socialising with people you don't know.
That's beside the point.
l would have liked to have been consulted.
You're right. Next time we're invited for dinner, l'll let you be the one to say no.
l'd appreciate that.
l'm picking up a wideband subspace transmission
from a Lissepian supply ship.
They've been attacked by a Maquis interceptor.
Long-range sensors are detecting a modified Peregrine-class courier ship,
lightly armed, one man crew, bearing 268, mark 301 .
The Maquis use Peregrine-class courier ships.
The Lissepians didn't sustain any serious damage. l'm going after him.
l don't know what the Maquis
have done to that ship, but it's fast.
Not fast enough.
We must catch him soon.
Wait a minute, l've lost him.
The Badlands' plasma fields are disrupting our sensors.
lncreasing the sensor bandwidth should compensate for the interference.
l hope you're right.
He must be somewhere in this solar system.
There he is.
He's trying to land on one of the moons orbiting that gas giant.
l'm following him in.
His attitude stabilisers have failed.
- Can you get a transporter lock on him? - Too much interference.
He's trying to land on that moon.
We've lost him.
- Did he make it? - l don't know.
Something in the moon's atmosphere is jamming our sensors.
Then we'll have to see for ourselves.
O'Brien to Sisko.
Go ahead.
There's someone here to see you.
Who is it?
- lt's Nog. - Nog?
- Tell him it's urgent. - He says it's urgent.
Send him in.
l told you he'd see me.
Commander, first let me express my most sincere thanks
for allowing me to speak with you.
You're welcome. Now, what is this all about?
l wanted to give you this.
Open it.
- What's this? - lt's latinum.
l know it's latinum, but why are you giving it to me?
Yesterday l completed the Ferengi Attainment Ceremony.
- l'm an adult. - Congratulations.
- Thank you. - But that doesn't explain this.
According to Ferengi by-laws, section 1 05, subparagraph 1 0,
adult Ferengi males must purchase an apprenticeship
from a suitable role model.
l choose you.
- You want to be my apprentice? - That's right.
l want to be the first Ferengi in Starfleet.
Who do l see about getting a uniform?
lf you want to be a Starfleet officer, you have to attend the Academy.
All right. Where do l sign up?
lt's not that simple.
As a non-Federation citizen, you need a reference from a command level officer
before you can even take the entrance exam.
A command level officer? You mean, like you?
- Well, yes. Like me. - Then you'll write the letter.
- l'll think about it. - Thank you, Commander.
l know you'll make the right decision.
Aren't you forgetting something?
Keep it. Consider it a token of my appreciation.
The atmospheric ionisation is jamming the transponders of the tricorders.
- You're sure he's in these caverns? - He wasn't in the wreckage,
and in this weather no one could survive very long. So that leaves...
That's the third quake. This moon must be seismically unstable.
The sooner we find our fugitive, the better.
That won't be easy. These caverns could go on forever,
and l don't want to stay here any longer than we have to. Let's split up.
We meet back here in 20 minutes. We may have to leave without him.
lf he's smart, he'll let us find him.
Prison would be paradise compared to this place.
l'll see you in 20 minutes.
- Kira to Odo. Can you hear me? - This is Odo. l can barely hear you.
l'm trapped. Come quickly. Do you read me?
Stay where you are, Major. l'm on my way.
- Odo is that you? - l'm right here, Major.
Odo, am l glad to see you.
- What's wrong? - My foot is stuck.
Stuck? How?
l don't know. l must have stepped in a fissure. l can't get it loose.
Let me take a look.
- lt's not a fissure. - Then what is it?
Your foot's been encased in some kind of crystal.
And from the look of things, the crystal is spreading.
- You're sure you can't pull it loose? - Believe me, l've tried.
- Slip your foot out of your boot. - l can barely feel it.
The crystal is pressing against it so hard, l can't get my boot off.
Hold on a minute.
- This might hurt a bit. - Go ahead.
l fail to see the humour in this situation.
Come on, it's pretty ridiculous.
The two of us outsmarted by a chunk of crystal.
- l'm not giving up just yet. - Neither am l. Hand me my phaser.
Are you sure this is a good idea? lf you're not careful...
l may blow off my foot so Julian can prove what a great doctor he is?
Don't worry, l have no intention of giving him the opportunity. Stand back.
That wasn't such a good idea after all.
The crystal formation seems to have fed off the energy from your phaser.
Odo to Mekong. Two to beam out. Energise.
Odo to Mekong.
l can't contact the runabout. There's too much interference.
l'll have to walk back to the landing site and try to transport you from there.
Are you worried about leaving me here?
Now that you mention it, yes.
l'll be fine, Odo.
l promise not to go anywhere.
Nog, hand me that phase matrix recalibrator.
Here you are, Father.
- ls it fixed yet? - Not yet, brother.
- What's taking so long? - We're working as fast as we can.
The replicators' power supply grid has been shorted out.
lf you don't shut down your replicators once a week, you risk overloads.
You said it might overload the system. Might.
- You should have listened to him. - No, l should have explained it better.
Of course it's your fault. Everything that goes wrong is your fault.
lt says so in your contract.
Clean this mess up before lunchtime, or l'm taking the losses out of your pay.
Of course, brother.
l need to get a replacement power coupling from the storage room.
l'll be right back.
Hey, Nog. What's going on?
lf you want lunch, come back in an hour.
l just ate. Hey, that was a funny joke you pulled on my Dad this morning.
- About wanting to join Starfleet. - l wasn't joking.
l won't fall for that one.
- Did you tell your father l was joking? - Yeah, kind of.
How could you do that to me? Tell your father that you were wrong.
All right. Calm down. How was l supposed to know you were serious?
You never said you wanted to join Starfleet before.
l'm saying it now.
- So what brought this on? - l have my reasons.
- OK, name one. - Why should l?
Friends don't keep secrets from one another.
lts not a secret. l just don't feel like talking about it.
- Why? - Because it's personal.
Now stop asking me.
All right. But my father's a smart guy.
lf this is some kind of trick, he's going to figure it out.
There's nothing to figure out. l'm joining Starfleet and that's that.
Now, l have a lot of work to do.
Computer, lock onto these coordinates and initiate transport sequence.
- Unable to comply. - Explain.
The high level of atmospheric ionisation is inhibiting transporter lock.
Can the interference be compensated by using pattern enhancers?
Negative. Pattern enhancers will not function in a polarised ionisation field.
ls there any way to get a transporter lock in this kind of ionisation field?
Computer, send out a priority one distress signal to Deep Space 9.
Unable to comply. Communications systems are inoperable
due to atmospheric interference.
ln that case, launch a communications probe and instruct it
to begin a continuous broadcast of our whereabouts
as soon as it clears the atmosphere.
Probe launch confirmed.
Computer, given ideal conditions,
how soon can we expect help from Deep Space 9?
lt should receive the probe's distress signal in approximately two days.
- Kira, l heard phaser fire. - You've missed our friend.
He came out of that tunnel. He was as surprised as l was.
He fired at me, and when l shot back he ran off down the tunnel.
Don't worry, his aim wasn't any better than mine was.
He didn't miss by much.
My lucky day.
You've requested to reassign Ensign Vilix'pran from cargo inspection.
Given his condition, he shouldn't come in contact with hazardous materials.
- His condition? - Vilix'pran is budding.
His buds are undergoing individuation in a month.
- You mean he's pregnant? - Twins.
Reassignment granted.
l'll have to offer my congratulations to him the next time l see him.
O'Brien and l are throwing him a baby shower.
- He would be glad if you came. - Are you getting him anything?
O'Brien's building him a hatchling pond. l've ordered baby clothes from Garak.
- Count me in. - Aye, sir.
Ensign Pran...
Commander Sisko, have you made up your mind yet, about my letter?
- Not exactly. - What does that mean, ''not exactly''?
Look, l have to be honest with you.
You're not the first candidate for Starfleet Academy that comes to mind.
- Why not? Because l'm a Ferengi? - Not at all.
Your reputation on this station leaves a lot to be desired.
Your school grades are mediocre at best,
and you've had run-ins with Constable Odo.
OK, l've made some mistakes. l admit that, but l can do better.
Just give me a chance.
You wanted to see me, Benjamin?
l need an inventory of the contents of cargo bay 1 2.
- Didn't we do that last week? - l'd like it done again.
l'll assign a crew to it immediately.
l already have someone in mind for the job.
Really? Who?
- Nog. - Nog?
He's asked for a recommendation to Starfleet Academy.
- Nog? - My reaction exactly.
lt would be interesting to have a Ferengi in Starfleet, but Nog?
l know it seems unlikely, but l want to give him a chance to prove himself.
Commander, there's a lot of valuable equipment in cargo bay 1 2.
l know.
Maybe a couple of crewmembers should assist him.
No. l want him to do it alone.
No help, no interference, no one looking over his shoulder.
l wish l could analyse this material.
Too bad our tricorders don't work.
Or our communicators, or the transporter.
Our fugitive couldn't have chosen a better place to hide.
Very convenient, don't you think?
You make it sound like he planned on trapping us.
Maybe he did, but it's not going to work.
l'm going to get you out of here.
- How long do you think l have, Odo? - Long enough.
l figure at the rate the crystal's been growing...
l'm going to be completely covered in less than 1 2 hours.
Unless this cave collapses first.
There has to be a way to shatter this crystal.
That doesn't mean we'll find it in less than 1 2 hours.
We'll find it.
Do you ever look at the Criminal Activity Reports from Starfleet Security?
- Not often. - You should.
They make fascinating reading.
A few months ago we got a report on a theft on Remmil Vl.
The natives spin a crystalline webbing that they use for their buildings.
A band of Nausicaan raiders broke in to their central museum
by using a high frequency ultrasonic generator
to create a sympathetic vibration inside the webbing and shatter it.
All we need to do is ask the Nausicaan raiders to help us?
l might be able to put together a makeshift generator
using the covariant oscillator on the runabout.
l'll have to find the right frequency
to create a sympathetic vibration inside this crystal.
l'll go back to the runabout and assemble the generator.
Keep your phaser handy in case our friend comes back.
- l will. - l'll be back as soon as l can.
Constable. When we get back to the station,
l'm going to start reading those Criminal Activity Reports.
l'll make sure you get them.
Due to a computer error, we lost the manifest on this entire cargo bay.
Commander Sisko would like you to re-inventory its contents.
- The entire cargo bay? - That's right.
By myself?
Look, Nog, Starfleet isn't just about diplomacy, exploration.
A lot of the time, it's just hard work.
When does Commander Sisko want it done?
He'd like the manifest on his desk first thing in the morning.
He'll have it tonight, before he goes off duty.
Tomorrow morning will be fine.
lf you don't mind, Lieutenant, l'd like to get started.
How long do you think it'll take the generator to find the right frequency?
lt's hard to say.
lt could take hours.
l don't suppose there's any way to speed things up?
l didn't think so.
Don't worry.
l intend to get us back to the station by tomorrow night.
Chief O'Brien is counting on it.
What does O'Brien have to do with it?
- We have an appointment. - What kind of appointment?
Talk to me, Odo. lt helps pass the time.
The Chief and l are supposed to go kayaking together in a holosuite.
You're kidding. How did he talk you into that one?
He didn't talk me into anything.
- lt's really quite enjoyable. - You've done it before?
Twice. He invited me one evening, and seeing l had no plans l accepted.
l'm sorry. l'm having trouble imagining the two of you together in a boat.
- He's the one who does all the singing. - He sings?
He says it's necessary to establish a smooth paddling rhythm.
This gets better and better. What songs does he sing?
Ancient human sea chanties, mostly.
He's particularly fond of one called ''Louie, Louie''.
l've never pictured O'Brien as a nautical type.
Next to his work and his family,
''shooting the rapids'' is his favourite activity.
He's had the holoprogram since he was on the Enterprise.
How long do these boat trips usually take?
- That depends. - On what?
On how many times we capsize.
- lt must be a very difficult programme. - lt's extremely difficult.
According to him, he's dislocated his shoulder half a dozen times
trying to make it down those rapids.
- Then why does he keep doing it? - Because he loves it.
And it's been my observation
that you humanoids have a hard time giving up the things you love,
no matter how much they might hurt you.
- l'm glad you're here, Odo. - l'm glad l'm here, too.
- Major? - l'm all right. What about the generator?
lt's fine, but it still hasn't found the right frequency to shatter the crystal.
Tell it to hurry. A few more tremors like that last one and this cave collapses.
We'll have to make sure that doesn't happen.
We've come out of worse situations all right.
Name three.
l can't think of any either.
No, it's not that. lt's just that that wasn't the response l expected.
What do you mean?
ln the detective novels Chief O'Brien gives me to read, when the hero says,
''We've been in tougher situations than this one,''
his friends always agree.
l never read any of those books.
There must be some humanoid platitude l can use to cheer you up.
l don't have much use for platitudes, Odo.
l'd rather face the truth of a situation and go on from there.
- l feel the same way. - l know.
- That's why we get along so well. - l suppose it is.
But in this case, the truth is we are going to get you out of here, Major.
And that's no platitude.
- This is impressive work. - lncredible is more like it.
He inventoried the whole cargo bay in under five hours.
You're sure he didn't have any help?
According to the internal sensors, no one else entered that cargo bay.
He did learn something working in his uncle's storeroom.
l assume that all our equipment is where it's supposed to be?
lf you're asking if he stole anything, the answer is no.
He even found some things we missed on our last inventory.
OK, now we know he's a hard worker. The question remains:
Why does he want to join Starfleet?
l have no idea.
l don't understand it.
l've run through the entire harmonic spectrum,
and no frequency has had any effect on the crystal.
lt's almost as if the structure of the crystal is mutating
to keep us from finding the right frequency.
Yes, Major.
l wish there was something else l could do.
Just keep talking to me.
- What do you want me to say? - Anything. Tell me a story.
- A story... - Tell me how you got your name.
My name?
Now that you mention it, that is an amusing story.
Tell it to me.
Well, as you know, when Doctor Mora first brought me to his laboratory,
it was under Cardassian supervision.
All specimens had to be clearly labelled in Cardassian,
so the overseers would always know what the scientists were working on.
Since no one was exactly sure what l was,
Mora labelled me ''Unknown Sample,''
which the overseer translated into Cardassian as "odo'ital."
So, your name is ''Unknown Sample''?
No, no.
"Odo'ital" literally means the word ''Nothing''.
Even after it became clear that l was sentient,
the Bajoran scientists kept calling me that.
As a joke, they split it into two words,
like a Bajoran name: Odo ltal, which eventually got shortened.
To Odo.
But the thing is, for the longest time,
whenever anyone would use my name,
the first thing l would think of was what it meant: ''Nothing''.
What better way to describe me?
l had no family, no friends, no place where l belonged.
l thought it was the most appropriate name anyone could give me.
And then l met you.
And the others - Sisko, Dax, even Quark.
And now, when l hear one of you call me ''Odo'',
l no longer think of myself as ''Nothing''.
l think of myself as me.
l'm sorry, Major. That story wasn't as amusing as l'd hoped it would be.
No, l liked it very much.
The ultrasonic generator isn't going to work, is it?
No, l'm afraid it's not.
l don't suppose you have any other ideas.
l wish l had.
Neither do l.
lt doesn't make sense.
The ultrasonic generator should have worked. Something's not right.
Odo, you've done your best.
- lt's time for you to go. - Go?
This place will collapse any minute.
That Maquis probably died in a cave-in.
- There's nothing more you can do. - lf you're asking me to leave...
As your superior officer,
l'm telling you to take the runabout and get the hell off this moon.
That's an order.
Odo, l told you to get out of here.
- l'm not leaving. - Constable, l gave you a direct order.
You can order me all you want. As of now, l'm resigning my commission.
- lf you stay here, you'll die. - You don't know that for certain.
Even if it were true, l'm not going to abandon you.
- l want you to get out of here. - Don't you understand? l can't.
You have to. Odo, please.
No. l won't leave you.
- Why? - Because...
l'm in love with you.
So, now you know.
l'm in love with you, too.
You wanted to see me, Commander?
Nog. l've given your request a lot of thought.
l appreciate that, Commander.
- But l'm afraid l have to turn you down. - Turn me down?
- Did l do something wrong? - lt's not anything you did.
You're just not Academy material.
- This belongs to you. - Can't we talk about this?
There's nothing to talk about. You'd never make it through the Academy.
You couldn't handle the workload or the discipline.
- You wouldn't last two weeks. - That's not true.
- l'm a hard worker. l proved that to you. - lt doesn't matter.
l won't risk my reputation to satisfy some whim of yours.
lt's not just a whim. l'm serious about joining Starfleet.
l don't have time for this, Nog.
You can forget your little scheme. l'm not giving you that letter.
lt's not a joke or a scheme. l want to join Starfleet.
l want it more than anything l've ever wanted in my life.
You're a Ferengi.
Why would you want to be in Starfleet?
Where's the profit in it?
- l don't care about profit. - What do you care about?
Come on, tell me. Why is it so important that you get into Starfleet?
Why are you doing this?
Because l don't want to end up like my father.
Your father.
That's right. My father.
He's been chasing profit his whole life, and what has it gotten him?
Nothing. And you know why?
Because he doesn't have the lobes.
And neither do l.
- And ''A Ferengi without profit... - ''...is no Ferengi at all.''
The 1 8th Rule of Acquisition.
My father is a mechanical genius.
He could have been chief engineer of a starship if he'd had the opportunity.
But he went into business, like a good Ferengi.
The only thing is, he's not a good Ferengi -
not when it comes to acquiring profit.
Now all he has to live for is the slim chance
that someday, somehow, he might be able to take over my uncle's bar.
l'm not going to make the same mistake.
l want to do something with my life, something worthwhile.
Like joining Starfleet?
l may not have an instinct for business,
but l have my father's hands and my uncle's tenacity.
l know l've got something to offer, l just need the chance to prove it.
All right.
l'll see that you get that chance.
You'll recommend me to Starfleet Academy?
l'll send the letter first thing tomorrow morning.
Commander, l don't know how to thank you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't thank me yet. You still have a lot of work ahead of you.
Don't worry. You're never going to regret this.
- Odo? - Yes, Major.
You haven't said a word to me in over an hour.
l've just been going over a few things in my mind.
l'm sorry l waited so long to tell you how l feel about you.
lf l'd told you earlier, maybe things would have been different.
What are you smiling about?
l think l've finally figured out what's going on here.
This whole situation hasn't seemed right since the beginning.
There've been too many coincidences, too many unanswered questions.
Are you still trying to prove that this is some kind of conspiracy?
The Maquis was standing here when he shot at you?
- That's right. - How tall was he? My height?
No. Maybe shorter.
- Like this? - More or less.
- Why does it matter anyway? - lt matters.
From this position, you're blocking those phaser hits.
There's no way someone standing here
could hit those rocks without hitting you first.
Maybe he was standing somewhere else.
Or maybe you were lying to me.
Which makes two times you've lied to me today.
What are you talking about?
You lied when you said you were shot at,
and when you said you loved me.
- l do love you. - l wish you did, but you don't.
l pride myself on my ability to observe human nature.
l've watched you for the past three years.
l never saw any indication that you had those kinds of feelings for me.
You like me, you think of me as a close friend.
But love? l'm afraid not.
Maybe l told you l loved you because l thought it would make you feel better.
l thought that's what you wanted to hear.
You're lying again.
The Kira l know has far too much regard for our friendship
to lie to me, even for the best of reasons.
- Odo, l can explain. - Good.
You can start by telling me who you are
and what you've done with Kira.
Well done, Odo. You really are quite a skilful investigator.
And you're quite a skilful changeling.
You still have much to learn.
lf you want to share your wisdom, tell me where Major Kira is.
- Close by. - You were the fugitive, weren't you?
That's correct.
How did you get a Maquis ship?
Now, Odo, you can't expect me to give you all the answers.
But why lead us here? Why replace Major Kira?
l needed to understand
why you live with the solids rather than your own people.
l suspected it had something to do with Major Kira.
- Now l'm certain of it. - Your plan was to let me think she died.
You thought that would take away my link to the solids?
- Then you would return to us. - Nothing will ever make me do that.
- l wouldn't be so sure. - Tell me where she is.
And if l don't, then what? You'll shoot me?
No changeling has ever harmed another.
There's always a first time.
Major Kira is down that tunnel, 200 metres south of here.
Save her if it suits you, but it won't make any difference.
She's never going to love you.
How could she?
You are a changeling.
- Major, wake up. - Odo, what happened?
- What am l doing here? - lt's a long story.
Right now we have to get you to the Mekong.
There's one thing l don't understand.
lf that Founder wanted to test your allegiance to the solids,
why did she impersonate me?
l suppose it's because you happened to be with me.
lt could have just as easily been Commander Sisko, Dr Bashir...
What made you realise the truth?
She made a mistake. She said something you would never say.
- What was that? - Just a slip of the tongue.
Nothing important.
l tell you, l won't stand for it.
No nephew of mine disgraces our family name by joining Starfleet.
- But Uncle Quark... - My mind is made up.
- l forbid it. - No, you don't.
- Rom, stay out of this. - l will not.
When it comes to the bar, you may be in charge,
but when it comes to my son, l make the decisions.
Fine. You tell him he can't go.
Good luck. l would be proud to have a son in Starfleet.
You're both insane.
Like father, like son.

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