prepare reports for tomorrow's briefing.
All hands dismissed.
I'd say that was a successful mission.
Five days in the Gamma Quadrant and no sign of the Jem'Hadar.
Commander... during our maneuvers
through that asteroid belt on the Kar-telos system
I noticed the Defiant felt a little... sluggish
when turning hard aport.
The inertial dampening generators
may need to be realigned.
I'll begin drawing up a schedule immediately.
And while we're at it, we should recalibrate
the targeting scanners and check the EPS relays.
O'Brien's going to be a little disappointed.
He thought he finally had the ship running smoothly.
Well, Chief O'Brien has done an excellent job.
This is a fine ship.
But it is my duty to keep her functioning
at peek proficiency.
Mister Worf... you're in love.
With the Defiant.
I feel silly.
I like it.
It shows off your legs.
There you see-- your public has spoken.
What do you call this holosuite program of yours again?
The Battle of Clontarf--
you, me and a thousand stalwart lrish warriors
against a ravening hoard of Vikings.
It's like the Battle of Britain
only with swords.
How come you get to be High King?
I am a direct descendant of King Brian Boru.
it's my program.
I suppose that's only fair.
I know exactly how you feel.
The Bajoran Time of Cleansing.
Can someone explain to me why the Bajorans need
to abstain from worldly pleasures
for an entire month?
I mean, it's not like they're a bunch of hedonistic
holosuite-obsessed drunkards to begin with.
No use moaning about it.
Who's that for?
It's one of Moogie's home remedies.
You want to drive away all the rest of my customers?
I feel dizzy.
What else is new?
Go wait on table seven.
Rom, you look terrible.
I think you better lie down.
I don't pay you to think.
I pay you to spin the dabo wheel.
So get spinning.
But nobody's gambling.
How can they when you're not at the wheel?
I really don't feel good.
Can't you see he's sick?
He needs to lie down.
Just because you happen to be
intimately acquainted with Dr. Bashir's bedside manner
doesn't make you a medical expert.
Brother, am I still standing?
What I do during my time off is no business of yours.
If you don't get back to work this instant
you're going to have more time off
than you know what to do with.
The same goes for you. Here.
Aren't you going to do something?
Of course, I'm going to do something.
I'm going to dock his pay.
Briok, clean up this mess.
Oh, this is one stubborn infection.
How long have you had it?
Uh, a couple of weeks.
You mean to tell me you've been walking around
with a seeping infection of the tympanic membrane
for two weeks?
More like three, actually.
Rom! You could have died.
Another 48 hours
and you would have been bidding for a new life
at the Divine Treasury.
I guess it's a good thing I fainted when I did.
Why didn't you come and see me sooner?
I couldn't. I was busy.
I'm sure your brother
could have spared you for half an hour.
It would have been a violation of my contract--
paragraph 76, subsection three.
"Employees of Quark's Bar and Holding Company
"are strictly prohibited from leaving the work environment
"during business hours
"unless ordered to do so by their employer.
"Any failure to comply with this provision
will result in severe fines and possible dismissal."
It's a standard provision in all Ferengi labor contracts.
You mean, you don't get time off
even if you're sick?
It's all part of our...
generous employee compensation package.
"No sick days, no vacations
no paid overtime."
It sounds to me like you need a better contract.
There's no such thing.
All Ferengi labor contracts are the same.
Well, that should do it.
But I want you to see me
first thing in the morning for a follow-up.
It'll have to be before the bar opens.
What you people need is a union.
You know, a trade guild
a collective bargaining association, a union--
something to keep you from being exploited.
You don't understand.
Ferengi workers don't want to stop the exploitation.
We want to find a way to become the exploiters.
But I don't see you exploiting anyone.
Rom... how'd it go?
Oh. Julian's a wonderful doctor.
Your brother should have let you see him weeks ago.
It's not Quark's fault that I got sick.
I forgot to get my bimonthly ear scan.
And besides, I've probably been getting too much oo-mox.
Really? Who's the lucky female?
No female. Just me.
Sorry enough to do something about it?
I... don't think Julian would approve.
We could ask him.
All right, everyone...
I have an announcement to make.
I've just been going over today's receipts
and it's not good.
The only thing this Bajoran
Cleansing Ritual has cleansed is my profit margin.
So, starting tomorrow
everyone's salary gets cut by a third.
No, no, that's not fair. I'll talk to him.
It's either that
or fire half the staff.
Don't bother thanking me.
I can't afford a pay cut.
It's either a pay cut or a layoff.
All right, everyone, let's get back to work.
I want this place cleaned up
and the lights off in ten minutes.
Brother... this isn't right.
You can't just cut people's salaries
Actually, I can.
And I have.
Now, why don't you concentrate
on keeping your hands off your lobes
and leave the business matters to me.
But once the Cleansing Ritual is over
you'll restore everyone's salary, right?
That depends on next quarter's fiscal summation.
Brother, I'm asking you...
as a personal favor to reconsider this pay cut.
Anything for you.
I've reconsidered it.
My decision stands.
Don't "Brother" me.
In this bar, you're not my brother.
You're my employee.
And employees have no right to question
the management's decisions.
I'm warning you.
If you don't rescind the pay cuts...
you're going to regret it.
The only thing I regret
is not being an only child.
You know, I think I'm finally
getting the hang of this mek'leth.
Don't you think?
It would seem so.
Then why haven't you told me?
A Klingon warrior
does not need the praise of his teacher.
I'm not a Klingon warrior.
I'm a beautiful and sensitive young woman
who thrives on...
What is it?
Do not move.
Isn't this your tooth sharpener?
This p'takjust robbed my quarters.
Take him to a holding cell.
I'll need a statement.
And you will have one.
But what I want to know is how such a security breach
was allowed to occur in the first place!
Unfortunately, these things happen.
They did not happen on the Enterprise.
Well, let me see.
"Ferengi privateers, led by DaiMon Lurin, boarded
"and seized control of the Enterprise
"using two salvaged Klingon birds-of-prey.
"Stardate 45349.1. Berlinghoff Rasmussen
"a petty criminal impersonating a scientist
"committed numerous acts of theft
against the crew of the Enterprise. "
Shall I continue?
That will not be necessary.
I know these incidents are the exception
rather than the rule, but if security breaches
Iike these could happen on the flagship of the Federation
imagine the difficulty of maintaining security
at an open port such as DS9.
It is just that I find it...
So do l.
But I'm afraid you're just going to have to get used to it.
Thank you all for coming.
I know that in the past, I've always defended my brother
whenever he's taken a stance that's proven unpopular
with the staff.
But I'm not going to do that today.
No. I'm not.
Quark's just using the Cleansing Ritual...
to increase his profits
at our expense.
It isn't fair.
And we're not going to take it.
Since... right now.
So what are we going to do about it?
We're going to fight back in the only way we can.
We're going to form a...
We're going to form...
Are you insane?
You've just destroyed the lives of every Ferengi in this room.
When the FCA finds out we've even been talking of a...
Don't say that word again.
We're in enough trouble as it is.
The Ferengi Commerce Authority doesn't have to hear about this.
If we all go back to work now
no one else has to know this ever happened.
No, no! It's too late for that.
The FCA has ears everywhere.
As soon as their lobes get wind of this
we're all doomed!
So we're doomed.
FCA liquidators will probably haunt us
for the rest of our lives.
But I say if they're going to come after us
Iet's give them a good reason.
Every one of you-- Ferengi and non-Ferengi alike--
knows that the way Quark treats us is unfair.
Frool, don't you deserve a day off
when your back starts acting up?
Well, uh... I suppose.
wouldn't you like to take a paid vacation?
You're being ridiculous.
Answer the question.
It's not going to happen!
It won't happen
unless you make it happen.
And when a Ferengi sees an opportunity
what does he do?
He seizes it?
And l, for one, intend to grab it.
We've been exploited long enough.
It's time to be strong.
Take control of our lives.
and our profits!
Strike a blow against Quark.
Strike a blow against the FCA.
Strike a blow against exploitation!
Are you with me?
Union! Union! Union! Union!
What you have there is a sebaceous cyst.
I know it's a cyst, but it's getting bigger.
There's nothing to worry about.
Dermatologically speaking, you're perfectly healthy.
Oh, I'm perfectly healthy except I've got
a disgusting cyst on the back of my neck.
Now either I paint a nose, eyes and mouth on it
and pretend I've got two heads
or you take it off.
Well, I'll get you some paint.
Julian, get it off me!
All right, all right.
But you know what they say: Two heads are better than one.
Julian, I'm waiting.
I'm glad you're in.
I need your help.
Is that ear acting up again?
My ear's fine.
I need some advice about...
You said the other day I should form a union, so I did.
Rom, I was speaking theoretically.
And I've put your theory into practice.
All of Quark's employees have joined.
We're going to force Quark to treat us better...
A union, huh?
Good for you.
You know about unions?
Who do you think led the Pennsylvania coal miners
during the anthracite strike of 1902?
I have no idea.
Sean Aloysius O'Brien.
I didn't know that.
There's a lot of things about my family you don't know.
1 1 months those mines were closed
and they didn't open again
until all the miners' demands were met.
You mean, we should force Quark to close the bar.
Only as a last resort.
If he's reasonable about your requests
there's no need to strike.
You'll have to strike-- mark my words--
and when you do, you'll have to be strong.
Just like Sean O'Brien.
You know, he had the biggest funeral
in all of western Pennsylvania.
Hmm. They fished his body out of the Allegheny River
a week before the strike ended.
32 bullets he had in him.
Or was it 34?
Well, he died a hero.
He was more than a hero.
He was a union man.
I see the problem now.
You've got a bad ODN relay here.
We'll have to replace the whole unit.
How long will it take?
Two to three hours.
But after that, it'll work like a charm.
Until the next time it breaks down.
Well, that's the problem when you combine
Cardassian, Bajoran and Federation technology.
None of it was meant to work together.
How do you tolerate working in this environment?
Well, it's a lot easier than working on the Enterprise.
Easier? The Enterprise never had these kind of problems.
Tell me about it.
Have you any idea how bored I used to get
sitting in the transporter room
waiting for something to break down?
Here, I've half a dozen new problems every day.
This station needs me.
Oh, do me a favor.
Hand me down the coil spanner?
If this is a surprise birthday party
you're a month late.
It's not a party.
We're the Guild of Restaurant and Casino Employees
and we're here to present our demands.
The Guild of Restaurant and Casino Employees?
What's that supposed to be?
What does it sound like?
It sounds like...
Iike a union.
So you'd better take our demands seriously.
Paid sick leave..."
This is no joke.
Yes, it is.
And the fact that you don't know that it is
is what makes it so funny.
Now get back to work
before I fire the lot of you.
You can't fire us.
Because as of right now...
we're all on strike.
Thank you for not patronizing Quark's.
Thanks very much.
Thank you for not patronizing Quark's.
Thank you for not patronizing Quark's.
Thank you for not patronizing Quark's.
Thank you for not patronizing Quark's.
I hope Rom's voice holds out.
I hope our latinum holds out.
You wanted to see me?
May I take your order, sir?
Quark, I'm in no mood for games.
There seems to be an opening at the dabo table
or perhaps I might interest you in some time in the holosuites.
Are you carrying a tricorder or anything
with a portable energy source?
What are you talking about?
I'm still working out the bugs in these holographic waiters.
The Lissepian who sold me the program
neglected to mention that certain energy sources
can interfere with the imaging system.
Sounds like there's no end to the problems you're facing.
I can take care of the Lissepian.
I need you to get those...
traitors away from my front door.
They're blocking access to my place of business
causing a disturbance on the Promenade
and they're probably a fire hazard.
They belong in a holding cell!
Every last one of them.
Well, I hate to admit this, but I agree with you.
From what Chief O'Brien tells me about strikes
they sound like trouble.
I don't like mobs.
In my opinion, if you need one to get what you want
it's not worth getting.
Good. Then you'll haul them away.
I'll do nothing of the sort.
But you said...
I know what I said
but I have strict orders from Captain Sisko not to...
impinge on your employees' freedom of expression.
As long as they stay peaceful
and allow your customers access
through the second-level entrance
I'm not allowed to interfere.
In that case, would you mind serving some drinks?
I didn't think so.
What about the Vulcan?
With their sense of ethics
definitely on the side of labor.
I say this one's an "enter."
He barely set foot in there when there wasn't a strike.
Mmm. Quark isn't exactly his favorite person.
Wait a minute.
I can't believe it.
He's an "enter."
Not for long.
Where are you going?
To talk some sense into him.
Commander! Hold on!
I cannot believe what I'm seeing.
If I could explain...
Mr. Worf, do I look like I'm ready for an explanation?
Three of my senior staff, brawling on the Promenade.
With all due respect, sir, we, we weren't brawling.
Maybe you should take a closer look
at Dr. Bashir's forehead.
Well, he shouldn't have got in the way.
I was trying... I was trying to stop the fight.
We were not fighting.
Then what were you doing?
Having a difference of opinion.
Yeah, I suppose...
towards the end there, we might have...
done a bit of shoving.
According to Odo
Dr. Bashir was shoved over a table.
Now, that was an accident.
It was just that things got a little out of hand.
Things got more than a little out of hand.
I suppose I'm going to have to talk to Quark myself.
Find a way to settle this strike
get things back to normal around here.
Can we leave now?
I'll tell Constable Odo to let you go...
in the morning.
Well, I hope you're proud of yourselves.
Captain, believe me--
I want this strike settled as much as you do.
Then settle it.
It's not that simple.
Make it simple.
Sit down with your brother
and hammer out an agreement today.
Captain, I'm afraid you don't understand
what a delicate situation this is.
Even talking with strikers would be a violation
of the most sacred precepts of Ferengi culture.
Maybe I don't know much about Ferengi culture
but I do know who holds the lease on your bar.
And I couldn't ask for better landlords.
we don't ask you to pay your rent
or to reimburse us for your maintenance repairs
or the drain on the station's power supply.
You're a very generous people.
Five years of back rent
plus power consumption, plus repairs...
Do you know how much latinum that is?
I'll talk to my brother.
I'm glad we're in agreement.
Wages are here. Oh, wages...
What do you want?
It's the amount of latinum
I'm willing to transfer into your private account
if you'll just end this strike.
Are we talking about slips, strips
All right, strips.
It wouldn't matter if it were bars.
I'm not going to end the strike unless you meet our demands.
Rom, we shouldn't be fighting-- we're brothers.
Not when it comes to business.
We're nothing but employer and employee.
You've said so yourself.
I was wrong.
Rom, can't we talk about this?
There's only one thing I have to say to you.
"Workers of the world unite.
You have nothing to lose but your chains."
What's happened to you?
It's about time you got back.
That's Liquidator Brunt to you.
I see you remember me.
Who could forget?
What do you want?
Quark, don't worry.
I'm here to help.
The Ferengi Commerce Authority has ordered me to end
this nasty little labor dispute of yours.
How do you propose to do that?
By any means necessary.
I hear Quark had only 14 customers all day.
And he'll have even less tomorrow.
I've been talking with people all over the station
and support for our cause is growing.
Quark will have to settle--
either that or go out of business.
I don't know.
Quark can be awful stubborn.
I think he'd rather lose the bar than give in to us.
Don't be such a pessimist.
Remember Rule of Acquisition 263:
"Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum."
Your brother can quote Rules of Acquisition, too.
I believe his favorite is 21 1 :
"Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success.
Don't hesitate to step on them."
wasn't quoting the Rules of Acquisition
when he came to see me yesterday.
Hmm. What did he say?
He offered me a bribe
if I would end the strike.
Did you take it?
No, I didn't take it!
Don't you see what that means?
He's getting desperate.
A few more days and we'll get everything we want.
It's not my fault!
They made me do it!
It was all his idea!
If this were Ferenginar...
I'd have you all taken
to the spire of the Tower of Commerce
displayed to the crowds in the Great Marketplace below
and then shoved off...
one by one!
Small children would bet on where you would land
and your spattered remains would be sold
as feed mulch for gree worms.
I'll push the rest of them off myself.
I thought you said you weren't afraid of the FCA.
Don't let him intimidate you.
We're not on Ferenginar.
Lucky for you.
But the FCA understands
that living on this station has...
You've been tempted by unwholesome Bajoran ideals
exposed to the twisted values
of the Federation, and because of that
we are willing to forgive.
But don't confuse our mercy with weakness.
If you are not back at your jobs tomorrow morning
your financial accounts on Ferenginar
will be confiscated, your families will be fined
and your trading permits revoked.
You'll be ruined...
reduced to utter destitution.
Am l... understood?
I thought so.
Don't bother getting up.
Would you get up?
Let him stay there.
That's where he belongs.
The question is: Where do we belong?
On our knees... Iike Frool?
Or standing tall like Sean O'Brien?
Who's Sean O'Brien?
He was a union man--
a man who gave his life to earn a decent wage
for his fellow workers.
Brunt wouldn't have intimidated him
and he won't intimidate me.
What about our accounts on Ferenginar?
If your accounts on Ferenginar were worth anything
you wouldn't be working as a waiter.
I'm telling you-- nothing has changed.
Victory is within our grasp.
All we have to do is take it.
Now, are you with me?
I said are you with me?
Then let's get back on that picket line
and show Quark what we're made of.
Can I get up now?
Look sharp now.
in unity, there is strength.
So be strong.
Chief, may I speak with you?
Sure. What's on your mind?
I feel I owe you an apology.
I allowed our argument in Quark's to get out of hand.
I think there was plenty of blame to spread around.
Nonetheless, we are Starfleet officers
and Starfleet officers do not brawl with each other.
It wasn't much of a brawl, really.
I grabbed you, you shoved me
and Julian was tossed over a table.
Well, it never should have happened
and under normal circumstances
it never would have, but there's something
about this station I find... unsettling.
You'll get used to it.
But in the meantime, I think I've found a solution.
I'm going to move my quarters to the Defiant.
You're going to live on the Defiant?
I've already discussed it with Captain Sisko.
And he said yes?
As long as it doesn't interfere with my duties.
But... you'll be living out there all by yourself.
That was pretty impressive--
standing up to Brunt the way you did.
Who'd have thought I had such natural leadership skills?
Oh, I knew it all along.
I didn't think so.
Well, you surprised a lot of people
I've got to get ready.
I'm having dinner with Julian.
He's a lucky man.
And almost as brave as you are.
She kissed me.
There's no accounting for taste.
Rom, we have to talk.
Are you ready to give in to our demands?
Of course not.
Then there's nothing to talk about.
There's plenty to talk about.
The FCA's involved now.
And those Nausicaans working for Brunt
aren't just for show.
I'm not going to let Brunt intimidate me.
Don't you see, Rom?
You should be intimidated.
There's no telling what Brunt might do
and I don't want you to get hurt.
You never cared what happened to me before.
I always cared about you.
I tried to protect you. Save you from yourself.
How? By telling me I was an idiot my whole life?
I had to be tough on you.
I was trying to make you a better Ferengi.
What you were trying to do
was make yourself feel important.
Making me feel dumb made you feel smart.
But I'm not dumb
and you're not half as smart as you think you are.
Rom, you have to listen to me.
The FCA doesn't have to answer to anyone.
And if Brunt decides to get rid of you
I won't be able to stop him.
Look at it this way.
If Brunt gets rid of me
then all your problems are solved.
You always said you wanted to be an only child.
Doesn't that hurt?
I'm sure it does.
Most Nausicaan games do.
Speaking of pain...
did you talk to your brother?
I need more time.
Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.
Look, you're here to help me, right?
I'm here to enforce Ferengi law
and to protect Ferengi tradition
and that means putting an end to this strike.
Now, I can see that we are going to have to make...
an example of someone.
What kind of example?
Oh, I'm sure that we'll come up with something
that will get people's attention.
I, uh,... don't want my brother hurt.
Oh, I wasn't thinking of him.
Attack the leader of a movement
you risk creating a martyr.
No, Rom must not be touched.
Our target must be someone...
Someone he cares about...
Iike that dabo girl.
But she's not even Ferengi.
That's what makes it so memorable.
But she has such...
I'm afraid I couldn't bring myself to give the order.
No, let's see.
does Rom care about?
But I'm on your side.
I thought I wasn't allowed to have any visitors.
Dr. Bashir made an exception.
He said you were almost killed.
It's nothing to smile about.
Those Nausicaans shattered my left eye socket
broke two of my ascending ribs
and punctured my lower lung.
If Odo hadn't come along when he did...
Does it hurt?
Of course, it hurts.
If you're going to stand there and gloat
you can leave right now.
I'm not done gloating.
Don't you get it?
This was a message for you.
Well, it's not going to work.
I wish Brunt had known that.
Odo has him and the Nausicaans in a holding cell.
He says it's an open-and-shut case.
It's an open-and-shut case all right
but I'm not going to press charges.
Of course not.
I'm in enough trouble with the FCA as it is.
But then Odo will have to let them go.
Either way, the FCA
will just send another Liquidator
and that one will make an example of you.
Then you'll be the one gloating.
I don't want to gloat.
I want to end the strike.
So, give us what we want.
Rom, I can't!
I'm not going against 10,000 years of Ferengi tradition.
You're just afraid of the FCA.
Of course, I'm afraid of the FCA.
They crushed my eye socket.
And if you had any sense, you'd be afraid of them, too.
If this strike doesn't get settled soon
we're both going to find ourselves
tossed out of the nearest airlock.
You have to dissolve the union.
At least officially.
What do you mean?
I mean, you dissolve the union--
make it look like I've won--
and I'll give you everything you want.
You'll meet our demands?
That's what I just said, you idiot.
Even sick leave?
Even sick leave.
And six months from now
when the FCA isn't watching my books so closely
you'll get your raises.
It's the best I can do!
No, it's not.
All you have to do is make up
one of your fake business ledgers for the FCA.
They'll never know the difference.
You'll get your raises by the end of the week
but the union dies here...
and that's my final offer.
I thought about getting you a plant
but somehow it didn't seem right.
A wise decision.
So I brought you this instead.
It's a collection of my favorite Klingon operas.
Think about it.
You can lie in bed
and pipe them through the Defiant's com system
and play them as loud as you like.
A thoughtful gift.
You know, Worf
in the end, living on the Defiant
isn't going to change anything.
You're still going to have to get used
to life on the station.
I am not sure I agree.
Sooner or later, you're going to have to adapt.
Perhaps in the end, it'll be all of you that have to adapt to me.
Come in! Come in!
Why don't you try your luck at the dabo wheel?
Remember, every Bajoran gets one free spin.
You're in a good mood.
I just got a raise.
I must say you are looking particularly cleansed today.
Just get me two mugs of synthale
a double order of hasperat, and, uh...
hold the conversation?
No wonder I missed you.
Ah! Rom, there you are.
Why aren't you in your waiter's uniform?
I'll have a large snail juice, please
You know there's no drinking on the job.
That's no way to talk to a customer.
You're not a customer, you're an employee.
I've wiped my last table
and mixed my last Black Hole.
Starting today, I'm one of the station's
diagnostic and repair technicians, junior grade...
I gave you everything you wanted.
I know, but if the strike taught me anything
it's that I do a lot better when you're not around.
I'll keep your holosuites running
and fix your replicators when they're broken.
I think this'll be really good for our relationship.
Think about it from my point of view.
If I keep working for you, all I have to look forward to
is waiting for you to die so I can inherit the bar.
Well, I don't want you to die.
And besides, I deserve to have a life of my own now.
But without me looking after you...
I'll do fine.
I suppose you will.
I'll miss you.
No, you won't.
I'll be here all the time, only I'll be a paying customer.
Now, get me my snail juice...