I risk eight strips
with a purchase at six and a sale of ten.
Quark, it's your move.
Um, just a moment.
Oh, I can't believe it.
You beg me to play tongo with you
and then you don't pay attention to the game.
I'll be right there.
Let me put it another way.
If you don't finish this hand, I'm going to call it a night.
Who'd have dreamed they'd strike feldomite
on Parsion III?
The Sepian Commodities Exchange is in chaos...
everybody's selling, prices falling.
Are you sure?
You heard me. Evade!
You owe me 15 strips of latinum.
That's all I've got left.
My antimonium options, my quadrotriticale futures...
my powdered newt supplements...
all wiped out.
That's it. I'm finished.
It can't be as bad as all that.
It can and it is.
I'm up to my lobes in debt.
I put the bar up as collateral to three different brokers.
The loans are due in a week.
If I don't come up with the latinum
there'll be nothing left of me
but a greasy spot on the Promenade.
Tell him I'm gone.
If that's the best lie you can come up with
no wonder you're broke!
What a pleasant surprise.
I doubt it.
A clothed female...
Isn't this the cousin that tried to kill you?
I see you've heard of me.
Now, if you don't mind
I'd like to talk to my dear cousin...
If you've come for your latinum
you've come a long way for nothing
because that's all I can give you... nothing.
Spare me the sad story.
I'm well aware of your financial situation
and I'm here to help.
What are you going to do, loan me some exploding latinum?
I can understand your skepticism
but I know a way that can help the both of us.
I'm offering you a job.
You'd defy the FCA ban on doing business with me?
What's family for?
Besides, I won't tell if you don't.
You want me to sell weapons, don't you?
That's what I do.
Now, I know you've had reservations
about entering this lucrative field.
"It's too technical."
"It's not a people business."
But let me tell you something, Cousin.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
I've told you before.
I can't smuggle weapons through this station.
Odo would be onto me in a second.
Who said anything about bringing weapons here?
Then what do you need me for?
I need you, Quark, to do the things you do best...
showing our clients a good time...
providing an atmosphere conducive to closing deals.
I can do that.
Of course you can.
And you'll earn five percent off every sale.
You'll take five.
I had no idea.
Weapons is a growth industry.
In a month, all your debts will be paid.
In six months, the Ferengi Commerce Authority
will be begging to reinstate you.
In a year, you'll have your own moon.
My own moon?
Success... or failure?
What's it going to be, Cousin?
What have I got to lose?
You'll wake him.
He only dropped off about an hour ago.
You look terrible.
I didn't get much sleep.
He woke up every hour or two.
Every time I tried to put him back in his crib
he started crying again.
He misses his mother.
Oh, when is Professor O'Brien due back from Bajor?
I don't know.
A week, maybe two...
however long it takes
to get that blight under control.
On top of that
Annel had some kind of family emergency
so I'm stuck without a baby-sitter.
Don't worry about it, Chief.
Everything's going to be fine.
I'll take care of Yoshi.
You sure you're up to it?
I've baby-sat Ensign Pran's hatchlings
a couple of times.
Made sure their little wings didn't get all tangled.
Kirayoshi doesn't have little wings.
I think he's worn himself out.
He should sleep now.
If he wakes, give him one of his bottles.
There's diapers in the bag over there.
Don't worry, Chief. I know the drill.
Now, go to work.
You need the rest.
I'll be fine.
I went through the same thing with Molly.
It's just a phase.
He'll grow out of it sooner or later.
I'll check in with you at lunch.
If you need me, I'm just a com line away.
Give him to me.
There, there. Shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
He feels safe with me.
Give me the bag.
I'm taking him with me.
What choice do I have?
Would you stop doing that?
Shh. I'm just being careful.
Odo could be anywhere...
we saw him walk down the Promenade five minutes ago.
He's very tricky.
There he is.
How good to see you again.
The pleasure's all mine.
Quark, this is my associate, Hagath.
My companion, Talura.
Your cousin speaks very highly of you.
I've always said my cousin is an excellent judge of character.
I admire confidence in a man.
In fact, I demand it of my salesmen.
But in business
one must be careful not to grow too confident.
That can be a fatal mistake.
I believe the phrase you used to bring me here
was "an opportunity of a lifetime."
An accurate description.
Its weight and balance appears just right.
Ah, we have a wide
range of targets for you to choose from.
Well, that won't be necessary.
A perfect replica.
It even pulls a little to the right
just like the real ones.
These are the finest holosuites in the sector.
I believe it.
Remember, we sold 150,000 of those to the Manchovites.
And we sold another 100,000 to the other side.
Now, there was a beautiful little war.
Too bad about the armistice.
Well, all good things must come to an end.
You sell weapons to opposing sides?
It's very dangerous.
If either side realizes what you're doing
it could be most unpleasant.
But as they say
"the riskier the road, the greater the profit."
Well, I'm glad I came.
This solves many of our problems.
It certainly does.
No actual weapons coming in or out
so we don't break any local laws.
All shipping happens outside Federation space
so Starfleet can't touch us.
And since all we're demonstrating are holograms
we can even show off the specialty items.
Gaila... well done.
It was all Quark's idea.
you really are quite a find.
I'm sure we're going
to accomplish great things together.
I can't wait.
Uh, just one thing...
don't cross me, Quark.
Don't ever cross me.
Now, if it's not too much trouble
I'd, uh, like to see my quarters.
If he were a bit shorter
and his teeth were a little sharper
he'd make a perfect Ferengi.
Why'd you tell him this was my idea?
I want him to like you.
The Breen CRM-114 works equally well
against moving vessels and surface emplacements.
It's guaranteed to cut through reactive armor
in the six through 15 centimeters range
and shields to 4.6 gigajoules.
Here we go.
The quick recharge is one of its most popular features.
I'll take 2,000.
It's a pleasure doing business
with someone who appreciates a fine weapon.
How did I do?
You're a natural salesman.
I am, aren't I?
It's no different than selling sandwiches.
What did I tell you?
I always like to celebrate a job well done.
I'm going to like doing this job.
You wanted to see me?
Just a minute.
Who would have thought that so much money can be made
from Andarian glass beads?
How did things go with the Proxcinians?
He purchased 7,000
tritanium-plated assault skimmers.
Good, and he'll be back for more.
The Proxcinian War is just heating up.
I suppose you're wondering
when you'll start seeing your share of the profits.
It had crossed my mind.
I'm afraid it won't be, uh...
I don't understand.
I took the liberty of transferring
your earnings directly to your creditors.
You'll be happy to know they were most appreciative.
I would have paid them their money.
I don't doubt your intentions
but money does strange things to people.
I can't afford to have one of my associates
distracted with financial difficulties
so, until your debt is paid
you won't be seeing any profit.
And once my debts are paid...?
Your earnings will be yours to do with as you will
as long as you remain solvent.
Do forgive me.
You see, my associates are like family to me
and I feel it's my duty
to keep them from getting into trouble...
and to shower them with affection.
Andarian glass beads!
These must be worth...!
An absolute fortune.
A small token of my esteem.
Go ahead. Beat that, Chief.
Come on, Yoshi.
It may not seem fair forcing the good doctor
to throw from further away, but...
he is genetically engineered.
Uh, Chief... don't you think you should put the baby down?
I haven't put Yoshi down for a week.
If I can carry him at work, I can carry him here.
There must be some baby-sitter on the station
that can pacify him.
You want to bet?
But... you can't hold him forever.
You've already got one bad shoulder.
You want me to put the baby down?
Fine. I'll put the baby down.
No, no, this is amazing.
Ah. Now, if you'll excuse me
it's my turn to throw.
Don't stop until you see smoke.
I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
I believe you know the way to the security office.
None of these charges are going to stick.
I haven't broken any laws.
I have a license to run holosuites.
But you don't have a license to sell weapons, do you?
I defy you to prove that I brought
a single weapon onto this station.
It's a mere technicality.
We both know what you're doing.
I promise you
you're going to face the consequences.
Not today he isn't.
Let him go.
Let him go?!
tell the Constable what you told me.
The Bajoran government insists that Deep Space 9
not interfere with the lawful transactions
of Hagath or his associates.
Hagath supplied arms to the resistance.
Without him or people like him, we'd all be dead.
The Cardassians would still be in power.
We owe him.
I don't like it any more than you do.
Better luck next time.
You better hope there isn't a next time, Mister.
I have cut you a lot of slack in the past.
I even looked away once or twice
when I could have come down hard on you
but those days are over.
Now we may not be able to get you
for selling weapons
but you so much as litter on the Promenade
and I will nail you to the wall.
Something to look forward to.
I'll never forget how many people told us
we were making a mistake.
Sell weapons to the Bajorans?
"What chance do they have?
"Invest in a winner.
Sell to the Cardassians."
But why did you sell weapons to the Bajorans?
They couldn't have had any money.
My dear Quark
not every deal is about making money.
Sometimes you have to look at the big picture
and at times, gaining a friend
is more important than making profit.
I admit, it's not the Ferengi way
but it's good business, nonetheless.
I knew the Cardassians would eventually lose
and you know why?
Because they were overly confident.
They underestimated the Bajoran thirst for freedom.
You want me to handle this?
How nice of you to join us.
What was so important
that you had to see me in person?
I was about to close that deal with the Verillians.
I heard they had no longer any need of our services.
Since they signed an agreement with Metron Consortium!
I also heard
that you hadn't even opened negotiations
with the Verillian.
That's a lie.
instead of doing your job...
you were off enjoying yourself on Risa.
I can explain.
I don't want any explanations!
I put my faith in you and you let me down.
As from now, our relationship is terminated.
Hagath, can't we just talk this over?
I made a mistake.
An expensive mistake.
Are you still there?
Now, that was a most unpleasant experience.
Shall we, uh, get back to what we were talking about?
Business always this good?
I haven't had a single Starfleet customer all day.
Come to think of it
nobody from the Federation has come through those doors.
I must be off limits.
Quark, as long as we keep the holosuite busy
you've got nothing to worry about.
Which reminds me...
we have a very special client arriving next week...
the Regent of Palamar.
Never heard of him.
He's very, very wealthy.
Can't wait to meet him.
He's also very particular about how he's treated.
As well he should be.
After all, he's a Regent.
I have to say, Cousin, you've done well.
And it couldn't come at a better time...
for both of us.
Why is that?
I'm thinking about stepping back...
taking it easy for a change.
You could take my place... run things with Hagath.
You'd be earning a bigger share of the profit.
Have you spoken to Hagath about that?
He likes you, Quark.
And I like him.
I'd also like a bigger share of the profits.
Then everyone's happy.
Except for Farrakk.
What about Farrakk? Didn't you hear?
His ship blew up shortly after he left the station.
Warp core breach!
That Hagath... what a temper.
What are you saying?
Hagath killed him?
You heard what he said, Cousin.
He doesn't like to be crossed.
Just make sure you don't forget that.
Double snail juice, extra smooth.
Good morning, Commander.
Mind if I join you?
Actually, I do.
I won't take it personally.
Quark, I'm busy.
I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed in you.
I thought you of all people would understand.
That you've finally shown how despicable you truly are?
That you don't care how many people die
as long as you make a profit?
Who said anything about people dying?
The weapons I sell are strictly defensive.
To be well armed is a deterrent to war.
Don't you know anything about the balance of power?
Quark, you don't really believe any of that, do you?
Jadzia... there was nothing else I could do.
I was drowning.
The waters were closing over my head
and just as my lungs were about to burst
my cousin threw me a lifeline.
How could I possibly refuse?
Feeling a little guilty, Quark?
I don't have anything to feel guilty about.
Then why come to me asking for forgiveness?
I've got good news, Chief.
Your son is fine.
Except he cries constantly unless I'm holding him.
I've done every imaginable test... eyes, ears
digestive, pulmonary and nervous system.
There's nothing medically wrong with him.
What are you telling me? My baby's just sad?
Perhaps he's become prematurely aware
of life's existential isolation.
You're sure it's not a rash?
Look on the bright side.
He'll probably be a great poet.
There's nothing I can do for you, Chief.
Yes, there is.
I'll get a neural modulator.
Palamarian sea urchin
lightly sauteed with garlic and moon grass.
Matopin rock fungi, tossed on a bed of tartoc
and seasoned... with clavisoa berries.
And, for the main course...
stuffed Wentlian congor snake.
All the Regent's favorite dishes.
I obtained the recipes through his palace chefs
in exchange for a small gratuity.
Quark, may I ask you a question?
Are you trying to ruin me on purpose
or is this sheer incompetence?
Ruin you? I don't want to ruin you.
Here we are, about to open negotiations
with an important new client
and this is the welcome you're prepared to give him?
They told me he'd like it.
This? He's going to like this?!
Hmm... well, he should.
We had you going there, didn't we?
Oh, you had him.
You definitely had him.
Quark, I love you.
All of it.
So glad you approve.
Well, that's enough fun for now.
The Regent will be here shortly
and tonight, we are going to make some money.
Nassuc was the finest officer I ever had.
I took her out of the ranks and made her a General.
In time, she would have inherited my entire army.
And how does she pay me back?
By declaring independence for her homeworld.
Betrayal... it's the one unforgivable sin
especially when it's committed
by someone you trusted implicitly.
Most arms dealers wouldn't understand
They have no ideals, no passions
except for lining their own pockets.
I always felt you were a man of honor.
You're all men of honor.
How very perceptive of you, Regent.
Now... how can we help you?
I want to make an example of Nassuc
and her followers.
I intend to eradicate her entire city.
What kind of casualties are you looking for?
Seven or eight million.
We can help you there.
But that's just the beginning.
Over the next couple of months
I would like the death toll to rise
slowly but steadily.
Can you give us a figure?
About... 20 million.
Now, what would be the most effective?
Either that or a mutagenic retrovirus.
What do you think, Quark?
28 million dead?
Can't we just wound some of them?
I am here to buy weapons.
Are you here to sell them?
Quark was just trying to make a little joke
but unfortunately, Ferengi humor doesn't translate too well.
So let's forgo any further attempts
at, uh, jocularity, shall we?
And get down to the business.
maybe I didn't make myself clear.
I've been in the weapons business 40 years.
I want to retire.
I don't blame you.
But I'm not going to be able to retire
if my hand-picked successor can't control his conscience.
The Regent is insane.
Stop being so judgmental.
It's his bank account, not his mental health
you should be concerned with.
But 28 million people... that just seems wrong.
If Hagath heard you talk that way
he would toss you out the nearest airlock.
Look out there.
Millions and millions of stars.
Millions upon millions of worlds...
and right now, half of them are fanatically dedicated
to destroying the other half.
Now, do you think
if one of those twinkling little lights
suddenly went out, anybody would notice?
Suppose I offered you
ten million bars of gold-pressed latinum
to help turn out one of those lights...
would you really tell me to keep my money?
You don't look so good.
That's because I'm dead.
Way to go, Quark.
I had my whole life ahead of me.
I didn't do anything!
You killed us all.
Now, hold on.
You can't blame me.
Deny it all you want.
I hope it was worth it.
How much latinum did they pay you?
Enough to buy a new conscience?
Why did you kill my baby?
This isn't my fault.
What have I done?
Chief, why is the baby in the pit?
It's kind of hard to explain, sir.
As soon as I took him
down there with me, he fell asleep.
Could be the pattern of the lights
the hum of the optronic emitters
the vibrations of the ODN relays...
I'm not sure.
But the point is, he's not crying.
Chief, why don't you take off
for a few days until Keiko gets back?
I think we can manage without you for that long.
That won't be necessary, sir.
I have the situation well in hand.
What I'm trying to say is that keeping Kirayoshi in the pit
is not an acceptable solution.
Find another one.
Could we wait till he wakes up before we move him?
He only just dropped off.
And then I want him out of there.
Don't you people have work to do?
What the hell are you doing in here?
I want you to have this.
You broke into my quarters to give me a tongo wheel?
Get out before I call security.
And take that thing with you.
It's a gift.
Think you can buy back my friendship?
It's not a bribe.
Chances are, I won't be needing it anymore.
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Don't you want to know where it is I'm going?
What if I said it was dangerous?
Where I'm going, you can't follow.
What I have to do, I have to do alone.
One man who's had enough
who's going to stand up and say...
The worst Hagath can do
is kill you.
What's one life
compared to the lives of 28 million people?
What do you mean, you can't get your hands
on the mutagenic retrovirus?
Our supplier sold all he had to the Minnobia
for their war against the Vek.
This isn't good.
I've just been telling the Regent
that his shipment will be delivered within a week.
He is leaving right now.
He is not going to be happy, Quark!
He'll be stuck with 28 million people
and no way to kill them.
I'm glad you're amused, Quark.
Lucky for us
I can get hold of some Varaxian LM-7.
I can get hold of some Varaxian LM-7.
Never heard of it.
It's a new biogenic weapon
still in the experimental stage.
Is it effective?
They'll be dropping like flies.
Only trouble is...
I don't know how much of it I can get.
Do you think the Regent would be satisfied
with only 17 million people killed?
Well, 17 million, um...
it's better than nothing.
Then what you
have to do is tell him there's been a change of plans.
Tell him we have something new to show him.
Might take a little longer to get the results he wants
but we'll give him a 20 percent discount.
In the meantime
I'll have a sample of Varaxian LM-7 sent here
and we'll arrange for a small demonstration.
We'll find a planet
with some low-level life-forms on it nobody will miss.
I'll speak to the Regent, try to keep him from leaving.
You make sure you get this sample here
as soon as possible.
Don't fail me, Quark.
Believe me, I want this deal to go through
more than anybody.
I'm finally out of debt.
These are the first profits I get to keep.
Don't look so unhappy.
The dabo tables
will still be there when you get back.
But I was winning!
What could be more important than that?
I told you there's somebody I want you to meet.
meet General Nassuc, head of the Palamarian
Pleased to meet you.
We need to talk.
Will you excuse us for just a moment?
What is that female doing on the station?
I invited her.
Are you crazy?
She's the Regent's mortal enemy.
Does he know she's here?
Of course not.
You are scaring me, Cousin.
I know selling weapons to opposing sides is dangerous
but as you said yourself, "The riskier the road..."
Don't quote the Rules of Acquisition to me!
If Hagath finds out we're doing this behind his back
we'll wind up as dead as Farrakk!
Only if we fail, and we're not going to fail.
We're going to sell Varaxian LM-7
to both the Regent and the General.
Is she interested?
Oh, she jumped at the chance.
She's as crazy as the Regent.
Both sides will poison each other
we'll double our profits
and Hagath... will be very happy.
But what if they see one another?
Realize what we're doing?
It's a busy station.
We'll keep them far apart.
Just think of all that latinum.
What do you want me to do?
Keep the General occupied for 20 minutes.
Then take her to Cargo Bay 5.
I'll meet you there.
You heard him.
The code sequencer isn't working.
Then fix it.
I just need to get a descrambler.
And then, while I'm at it
I'll get a bottle of champagne...
Forget about the champagne.
Just get here as quickly as possible.
Whatever you say.
He'll be back shortly.
Quark, where are you going?
Um, I'll be right back.
I just have to get a descrambler.
Hagath! What's she doing here?
Attention, all personnel.
There are reports of phaser fire in Cargo Bay 5!
Seal the area!
You're with me! Double-time!
Good afternoon, Commander.
Chief, my schedule shows
you were supposed to begin modifying
the deflector array aboard the Defiant today.
I'm sorry, sir.
The Captain thought I could use a few days' leave
so I decided to take him up on it.
To care for your son.
Looking after a baby can be a full-time job.
Here, do me a favor.
Just hold him for a minute.
I, uh, have to get his bottle.
Now, he-he may cry for a bit, but it's okay.
There's nothing wrong with him.
But, Chief, l-I need to...
Just be a minute.
What is the matter?
He's not crying.
He's not crying.
I never saw my son when he was this age.
It is something I will always regret.
You are a fortunate man, Chief.
You're facing some serious charges here, Quark...
incitement to riot, endangering the public safety
How was I supposed to know
everyone was going to start shooting?
I just wanted them to cross paths
so that the deal would fall through.
It fell through, all right.
Hagath and Gaila barely managed to get off the station alive.
I hear General Nassuc sent a purification squad after them.
I wouldn't count on seeing your former business partners again.
I can live with that.
What about the Regent's death?
The Regent's dead?
A purification squad caught up with him this morning.
I can live with that, too.
And I can think of 28 million other people
who won't mind, either.
28 million and one.
So... about those charges.
Surely we can come up with some sort of accommodation.
This is what it's going
to cost to repair the cargo bay.
Well... maybe we could come up
with some sort of installment plan?
Works for me.
The risk is at ten
with a purchase of seven and a sale of 14.
Ah, nice move.
But then you always had a knack for getting out of tight spots.
It's a gift.
Now, about my tongo wheel...
It's not your tongo wheel.
You gave it to me, remember?
I know that I gave it to you, but at the time, I...
I'm not giving it back...
and that's final.