THE ANDORIAN INCIDENT


Maybe it's just me, but it seems like these Vulcan star charts
take all the fun out of it.
We're supposed to be explorers, aren't we?
That's the general idea.
Where's the exploration in going places people have already been?
Well, for one thing, we've never been to these places.
For another...
Remember that protostar we ran across last week?
- Yeah. - I'm not seeing it here.
Are you saying those Vulcan star charts
aren't all that accurate?
Well, if that's true, good luck getting them to admit it.
Come in.
You wanted to see me, captain.
As a matter of fact, Mr Tucker and I were looking at these star charts.
There's a planet a few light years off our current heading.
I'm familiar with it.
Well, the data indicates there's a remote outpost right here,
on the northern hemisphere.
- P'Jem. - I take it this P'Jem
is under Vulcan jurisdiction?
It's an ancient spiritual retreat,
a remote sanctuary for Kolinahr and peaceful meditation.
- Kolinahr? - The Vulcan purging of emotion.
Well, that sounds interesting.
How do you think they'd feel about a visit?
P'Jem is a place of quiet contemplation, captain.
I'm not certain we'd be welcome.
It's because Vulcans think we smell bad, isn't it?
It's not every day we get a chance to see an ancient Vulcan monastery.
I'd say a stopover is too good to pass up.
Unless you disagree.
I'll research the proper protocols.
Good.
- Archer to helm. - Go ahead, sir.
Prepare to lay in a course correction. T'Pol will give you the coordinates.
Understood.
Well, you must be looking forward to visiting the sanctuary.
It was the captain's idea.
But such an opportunity to appreciate your cultural history.
It is a Vulcan sanctuary, if that's what you mean.
Precisely my point. You'll be able to introduce some of your own people
to your new crew.
I believe I see the source of your misgivings:
Being seen with a human crew.
It could create a certain awkwardness.
May I?
I confess, I feel awkward myself on this ship sometimes. Out of place.
But what is that Vulcan motto? Infinite diversity...
In infinite combinations.
And what is diversity but a celebration of differences?
I wonder if you might remind me of our mission on this vessel.
Please, indulge me.
Our mission is to make contact with those
who humans consider new life and new civilisations.
In other words, to seek infinite diversity.
I suppose so.
Well, then, it seems to me a cultural exchange
between your Vulcan brethren and your human crew
is simply a furtherance of that mission.
- They don't even know we're coming? - It wasn't possible to hail them.
The monks consider technology a distraction
from their spiritual pursuits.
I don't like dropping in on people unannounced.
It won't be a problem as long as we observe the proper protocols.
When we arrive, we'll be greeted by a Vulcan elder.
You should not speak to him,
or any member of the order, unless spoken to first.
If they appear to be meditating,
do not approach them or attempt to make conversation.
Also, maintain quiet at all times,
and do not touch or disturb any artefacts, relics or ornamentation.
If we arrive at their time of communal Kolinahr,
it's likely we'll be turned away.
At the conclusion of our visit,
we'll be offered the stone of J'Kah as a gesture of salutation.
Accept it.
Then bow slightly...
and observe a respectful silence for approximately five seconds.
I thought Starfleet training was tough.
You say this is a place to purge emotions?
Looks like somebody had to purge pretty bad. He bashed the door in.
The temple is almost 3,000 years old, commander.
You can't expect it to be in pristine condition.
We are honoured to visit this great sanctuary.
I cannot ask you to stay.
We are observing the final phase of Kolinahr.
He says we have arrived at the time of Kolinahr.
The order must remain in silent reflection throughout the lunar cycle.
They are not to be disturbed.
That's too bad.
At least we got to see the place.
Your service honours us.
Before we leave, may I request the offering of the J'Kah stone
for my distinguished guests?
Please wait.
Something wrong?
It's probably nothing.
But?
This is the main atrium.
There should be more than one member of the order present.
And the icon in that shrine is perched at an odd angle.
Oddly perched, huh?
We'd better call Starfleet Command.
That's not all, captain.
The Vulcan elder seems...
...agitated.
You call that agitated?
You know, I think the oldest monastery I ever visited was in Ngari, Tibet.
But it wasn't nearly as big as this place.
I've heard it can take days to explore this site.
It'd take at least that long to clean the place up.
Forgive the disarray.
Kolinahr encourages members of our order
to face their vestigial emotions.
The repercussions can sometimes be violent.
Please.
This is the stone of J'Kah,
which represents the foundation of all we believe.
A life of order and control through logic.
What's all that mean, anyway?
It is a traditional litany, passed down for generations.
Does it mean I get good luck or something?
You're thinking of the Blarney Stone, captain,
or when you pat the Buddha's belly.
I guess you're right.
Too bad we...
...didn't bring a camera, huh, commander?
Please, you must leave now.
You ever been to the San Francisco Zoo?
Now, there's something you should see.
Friends of yours?
Somehow I didn't think so.
Stop looking at me.
Okay, okay, don't get your antennas in a twist.
Why didn't you tell us one of your people was aboard?
It's an Earth vessel. I didn't know.
What does that mean, Earth? What is that?
It's where we're from.
It's our homeworld.
Why did you come here?
Answer me, pink skin!
This planet was along our course.
We only came to visit the sanctuary.
Liar.
What's your mission?
Are you a supply ship bringing them more surveillance equipment?
- We're not bringing them anything. - You brought her.
She's my science officer.
So you admit you're working with the Vulcans.
I'll admit I have a Vulcan science officer...
...and that I came here out of curiosity. Now, if you don't mind my asking...
...what are you doing here?
Hey.
He's telling the truth. We came for a visit. That's all.
We scanned your ship in orbit.
You're very well-armed for people who "came for a visit."
You...
...and the pink skins have proven what we already knew.
This is far more than a sanctuary.
I'll enjoy having you...
...as a prisoner.
Now, these guys are agitated.
They're Andorians, captain.
They're known for their suspicious and volatile nature.
- Andorians? - Yes, sir.
Our two species are from neighbouring systems.
We've been in conflict for many years.
They resent our superior reasoning and our technology.
They even believe that we intend to mount an invasion
on their homeworld.
In order to alleviate tensions, we negotiated a treaty,
but some Andorian factions still believe we're bent on conquest.
What do they want with a 3,000-year-old temple?
They believe we are hiding a long-range sensor array.
This is a place of introspection, captain.
There are no spies here, and no technology.
So, what are you gonna do, just sit here
and let them ransack the place?
Typically, they make a great display of their indignance.
When they find nothing, they leave.
The Andorians were here twice before and both times left within a day.
Unfortunately, your arrival has amplified their suspicions.
You've endangered us all.
No good deed goes unpunished.
The shuttle should have sensed it.
They went to visit some monks. Why would they scan for alien ships?
It should be standard procedure, that's why.
- In any event, there it is. - There what is?
A vessel, not Vulcan, and it's less than one kilometre from our shuttlepod.
Not a lot of room on that landing platform.
Maybe they're just some other visitors.
Well, I for one, would like to know who these visitors are.
And why haven't we heard from the landing party?
You can't expect them to check in every ten minutes.
Maybe that should be standard procedure as well.
You sure you're not overreacting? They're probably just taking a tour,
observing some kind of meditation ritual.
Where's the sensor array?
From what I'm told...
...there isn't one.
Where is it?
I don't know.
You humans obviously have emotions.
I find it curious that you'd select a Vulcan as your science officer.
Believe me, she wasn't my first choice.
Why a Vulcan?
Why a Vulcan?
She was...
...assigned to us by the Vulcan High Command.
You take orders from the High Command?
No.
For the last time...
...we just came to see the temple.
That's my ship.
Enterprise.
They're trying to contact me.
- Enterprise. - Yes.
I'm looking for Captain Archer.
He's a prisoner of the Andorian lmperial Guard.
We know you're in collaboration with the Vulcans.
Let me talk to the captain.
Your ship is under constant surveillance.
Arm your weapons or make any attempt to approach the surface,
and I'll kill the hostages.
Wait.
- I've lost the signal. - Try T'Pol.
Or Commander Tucker.
- No response. - Have the launch bay
put Shuttlepod Two on standby.
You heard what he said. If we try to send more people...
I don't take orders from a com voice, ensign.
Not unless that voice belongs to the captain.
Take a look at the Vulcan database.
See if it has anything on these Andorians.
Aye, sir.
We've searched all the chambers in the eastern tower.
- Have you checked the living quarters? - Not yet.
Perhaps if we decapitate one or two of those monks,
he'll start telling us the truth.
Is that something...
...you could live with, captain?
I've already told you the truth.
How long have you lived on the Earth ship?
Nine weeks...
...and four days.
The smell must be intolerable.
You get used to it.
And I was given a nasal numbing agent.
Whose idea was it to visit this place?
These guys are serious.
They'll start killing you people if they don't find what they're looking for.
There is nothing to find.
I don't think they're buying that.
Not this time.
Looks like there are four of them.
I saw some kind of scanning console.
They talked a lot about searching rooms.
You'd think they could find whatever they're looking for...
...with those antennas of theirs.
They answered a hail from Enterprise.
They threatened to kill us all if anyone tries a rescue.
Mr Reed wouldn't be that reckless.
I didn't recruit my tactical officer to sit on his butt when he's threatened.
The Andorians smashed our communicators.
The longer we're out of contact...
...the more likely...
...Malcolm will put together a landing party.
Warning or no warning.
Knowing him, a heavily armed landing party.
It's just a matter of time.
So if anyone has a suggestion...
...l'm all ears.
No offence.
There is an option.
A transmitter. It's very old.
You said you had no technology.
It hasn't been used in many years. It may not even be working.
I never met a busted radio I couldn't fix.
Where is this transmitter?
In the catacombs.
Catacombs.
Please listen to me, captain.
There are hidden passages beneath us
where we keep our most sacred relics,
our honoured dead.
If the Andorians discover them,
they will damage our culture in ways you can't begin to understand.
For people without emotion, you sure have a flair for the dramatic.
Master Haadok...
...one of the founders of P'Jem.
The transmitter is this way.
Fellas.
What's down there?
The reliquary.
Our most sacred artefacts are kept there. This is the transmitter.
Looks like a krellide power cell.
There is one to spare.
No, thanks. It'll just get in my way.
It's only going to get colder.
You take it.
You need it more than I do.
Do the Andorians have a transporter?
No.
That gives us the element of surprise.
We could bring an assault team right into the atrium.
The sound of the transporter alone would alert the guards.
They'd start firing before the team was fully resequenced.
What about this room?
By the time the Andorians detected the transport,
- we'd be armed and ready. - For what?
A firefight in close quarters...
...with a dozen monks at risk?
If you've got any better ideas...
There's room in here.
- I'm fine. - You're freezing.
It's been 24 hours since I took my nasal numbing agent.
The cold is preferable to the odour.
Come on.
An armed assault would put all of our lives at risk.
Not to mention the destruction of the sanctuary itself.
I'd say our lives are already at risk.
Tensions between Andoria and Vulcan are high.
Any casualties would only make matters worse.
It seems like you're letting them walk all over you.
They come in here, they smash your relics, they beat up your people...
...then you just sit back and wait for them to walk away?
We don't believe in responding to violence with violence.
I admire your ethics...
...but right now, a little violence might help.
You're beginning to sound like an Andorian.
You know, I came here hoping to gain a little insight into the Vulcan mind...
...it looks like I'm getting it.
You people think you're so damned enlightened.
Problem?
I'd like to find a peaceful solution too.
But I don't think that's gonna happen.
However we end up dealing with this,
I need to know I can count on you.
Are you questioning my loyalty?
I just wanna know where we stand.
I have never disobeyed your orders.
Sir, you're wearing a hole in the deck plating.
- What is it? - Transmission from the surface.
It's a modulated EM signal. Very weak.
Put it through.
Enterprise, this is Commander Tucker.
Repeat. Enterprise, this is Commander Tucker.
This is Enterprise. We can barely read you, commander.
- What's your status? - Guess you heard.
We kind of walked into a hostage situation. The whole place
- has been taken over by Andorians... - Andorians, yes.
I've been reading about them in the Vulcan database.
- Militaristic, blue-skinned. - That's them.
Well, what do they want?
They seem to think this place is some kind of a spy station.
They're looking for a sensor array. The captain says to sit tight.
He doesn't wanna provoke them any more than we already have.
He also said to tell you we're working on a way out of here.
Are you certain we can't negotiate?
The captain came back from his last negotiation with a face full of bruises.
- We'll be in touch. - Understood.
Do any of these tunnels lead to the outside?
No.
What about this reliquary?
- No one's entered it in years. - To do so would be blasphemy.
I saw an old stairwell down there.
Maybe a metre wide. It was...
...right about here.
That would almost be directly beneath the atrium.
There were three dim lights coming from the top. It looked...
...something like this.
How many times do we have to search the same rooms?
Are you losing faith in our mission?
We've looked everywhere. We've run a thousand scans.
The Vulcans are very deceptive.
It's here.
I'm sure of it.
If we back down now, everything we've fought for is meaningless.
If nothing else, remember that, Keval.
Hey!
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Hello.
Anybody out there?
I need to speak with you alone.
I have some information for you.
What is it?
Well, for one thing, I...
...needed some fresh air.
You ever been stuck in a room of Vulcans for 12 hours?
- The information. - I'll bet their robes
haven't been washed since the time of Surak.
Have you heard of him? Vulcan philosopher.
He's the one who got everybody to start purging their emotions.
I don't know about you, but I've learned really a lot since I got here.
What did you come to tell us?
Well, that depends.
What do you want to know?
All right, information.
Did you know that...
...over 70 percent of the organisms
- on my homeworld are bacteria? - What?
And here's something I think you'll find interesting.
There was a man in Canton, Ohio
who once rolled a ball of string over 6 metres in diameter.
He's wasting our time. Take him back.
There was a famous astronomer on Earth...
...Tycho Brahe.
He lost his nose in a duel...
...over a math equation.
You must enjoy pain.
Please. Please, I can't stand another minute with the Vulcans.
Please.
A light at the end of the tunnel.
- You know what to do, commander. - Yes, sir.
I don't have to tell you, captain.
We don't condone these actions you are about to take.
No, you don't have to tell me.
Just try and stay out of the way, and everything will work out fine.
- Phase pistols on stun. - Stun, sir?
The captain's instructions were quite explicit.
It's a console, ensign. It won't bite.
No, it'll just scramble your molecules.
- Crewman? - We've heard stories, sir.
- It might not be safe. - I've heard the same stories.
Now, get up here.
Coordinates set?
Aye, sir.
Then energize...
...before we change our minds.
- What is it? - Some kind of energy fluctuation.
We detected an energy surge. It came from this chamber.
Perhaps you have faulty equipment.
Or perhaps you have equipment we don't know about.
Watch them.
This is it.
Most Vulcans smell of dust.
But you're different.
Something sure smells.
Did you say something, pink skin?
This can't be right.
I'm detecting three new bio-signs.
- All human. - Where are they?
They're within 20 metres.
- Where?! - I can't pinpoint the signal.
Try boosting the proximity sensors.
I've heard about your mating rituals.
That Vulcan women force their men to fight each other to the death.
Would you like me to kill someone for you?
Leave her alone.
Would you like me to kill him?
Find them.
They're very close.
- Will you be all right? - Go ahead. I'll cover here.
Keval!
This way.
Two of them got away. They went down into the catacombs.
I hope you're pleased. You've turned a place of solitude into a war zone.
- Where are the phase pistols? - Here, sir.
If he wakes up, stun him again.
Let's go.
- I'm going with you. - Violence is no longer our way.
We must protect what is ours.
They're down this passage. Thirty metres.
It leads to the reliquary.
Only members of the high order are allowed inside.
- We'll try not to look at anything. - I can't permit it, captain.
What would you suggest we do?
I'll disarm them myself.
You ever use one of those?
I didn't think so. The Andorians have seen your sacred relics.
A couple humans won't make much of a difference.
Captain.
Hold your fire.
You might want to take a look at this.
I don't believe this.
Does that thing have imaging sensors?
Yes.
Take all the pictures you can.
Place your weapons on the ground.
I will kill him if necessary.
Give that to me.
- Violence in a sanctuary, captain. - Very disrespectful.
Boy, did it feel good.
All this time...
...they've been calling these monks liars,
and all this time, they've been right.
They've got enough equipment down there
to see what any Andorian is having for breakfast.
I've completed my scans.
Give it to him.
- Sir? - Give it to him.
You've got what you came for. Now get out of here.
How do we know you won't attack our vessel?
The Vulcans violated your treaty. Your people ought to know about it.
You have a problem with that?
Your communicator.
- T'Pol to Enterprise. - Go ahead.
The Andorian ship will be leaving the surface momentarily.
- They're free to go. - Acknowledged.
We're in your debt.
Thanks for the tour.


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