IN THEORY


Captain's log, star date 44932.3.
The Enterprise is preparing to enter the Mar Oscura,
an unexplored dark-matter nebula.
Cmdr Data is modifying several photon torpedoes
for an experiment to elicit information
about this unusual phenomenon.
The initial dispersal pattern should not be more than 7 km in diameter.
Jenna?
- 6.8 km. - That should suffice.
Is something occupying your thoughts? You seem subdued.
I bumped into Jeff in the turbolift this morning.
- He asked me to dinner. - What was your response?
I told him I'd think about it.
As you requested,...
..l will now remind you why you ended your relationship.
I guess I asked for this! Go ahead.
You objected that he did not set aside time for you.
You said he was unresponsive. He never did "the little things".
You disliked the sound he made eating soup.
OK! I remember.
This is the third time I have refreshed your memory.
Do you wish to rescind our agreement?
No, it's for my own good. It's just so easy to forget.
Hand me the sequencer.
Throughout history, lovers have suffered the same difficulty.
Anne Boleyn was distressed
that Henry VIII preferred the company of his huntsmen.
When did you develop an interest in romantic historical figures?
Six weeks ago, when you dissolved your relationship,
I saw an excellent opportunity to study human intimacy.
As your friend, it is my responsibility to be supportive.
That's...
That's very sweet, Data.
Data to bridge. We are ready to begin the first test.
Acknowledged. All science stations, stand by.
We're about to light up the nebula.
- Launch bay one shows ready. - Fire torpedo.
It's beautiful.
Like watching fireworks when I was a little girl.
Space, the final frontier.
These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.
Its continuing mission, to explore strange new worlds,...
..to seek out new life and new civilizations,...
..to boldly go where no one has gone before.
- That was wonderful! - Really?
Really! Wonderful!
Is something wrong?
My tempo was off. I felt like I rushed through the piece.
I do not believe that is so. Your rhythmic control has improved.
I heard no fluctuations during the performance.
Well, maybe. But I ruined the coda.
I got confused with the phrasing again.
I kept breathing at the wrong times.
The contrapuntal nature of the composition is demanding.
We will focus on the rhythmic patterns at our next rehearsal.
However, I am certain the audience was oblivious to such nuances.
They seemed to enjoy the performance thoroughly.
Thank you, Data. You're very generous.
Every night, Miles leaves his socks on the floor.
When we got married, I made the mistake of picking them up.
Then I realized if I kept it up, I'd do it for the rest of my life.
So I stopped, figuring he'd get the point and do it himself.
One night goes by.
Two.
A week. Ten days!
By now, there's a pile half-a-metre high.
- It wasn't! - I couldn't stand it any more.
I bundled them into the cleaning processor.
And I'm still doing it!
And a very good job she does, too!
Keiko, you sound like Data!
When he came over for a music lesson he said the funniest thing.
How did you put it? About the mess?
I believe I observed you have an aversion to orderliness.
But it was not intended as a humorous remark.
So, before we started, he gallantly offered to help me straighten up.
And a very good job I did, too.
Report, Mr. Data.
I have nearly finished compiling readings of the illuminatory burst.
Dark-matter density is nearly one order of magnitude
higher than in similar nebulae.
Life forms here may have developed in ways never observed.
Interesting hypothesis.
- Are there any M-Class planets? - Several, sir.
The nearest is three light hours from our position.
It's worth a look. We'll continue our survey along the way.
Let's increase the flow rate and see if that helps.
Sometimes, in the summer, we'd go on cookouts.
My little brother, me and my mother.
She was hopeless without a replicator. We didn't care.
Children often do not develop discerning palates until adolescence.
It wasn't that. It's just we felt so good as a family.
We didn't have much of that after my father died.
So those times were really special.
I wish we were back there now.
The unidirectional nature of the time continuum makes that unlikely.
That's what I love about you. You make me laugh.
I don't know why I fall for the wrong man, and not somebody like you.
You're perfect.
That is not true. I have no human feelings.
But you give me so much.
You spend time with me when I'm lonely, you encourage me.
No man has ever been kinder to me.
Those are the things that matter.
I'd better be going.
With your permission, Commander.
Permission granted.
I don't know if you're aware of this. You're very handsome.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Hello, Data.
Would you like to try something new?
It's a concoction I heard about on Prakal II.
I think it's wonderful but I need a second opinion.
87 percent Saurian brandy.
Targ milk and Danisian meat comprise the rest.
There is an unusually high concentration of fructose compound.
Too sweet?
Data, if I didn't know you better,
I would say you were a little... preoccupied.
Lt D'Sora just gave me what could be considered
a very passionate kiss in the torpedo bay.
Really?
And?
I was intrigued.
Jenna seemed to display genuine affection for me.
Well, what do you think of her, Data?
I find her to be a competent officer, highly motivated,
though lacking in her understanding of the theory
of the dilithium-matrix application.
I meant personally.
I look forward to our time together.
Well, then it seems the next move is yours.
- What are you going to do? - I do not know.
I have no experience in such matters.
I require advice.
Don't look at me!
No, Data, I simply mean that I can't give you any advice.
It's not good to advise people about their first love affairs.
That's something people have to figure out themselves.
But I am not capable of love.
Then it's going to be a very unique experience.
Missing someone?
I found Spot wandering two sections away.
- Thank you. - Forget to secure the door?
The door sensor recognizes only humanoid forms
for entrance and egress.
Spot could not trigger it.
Maybe somebody came in while you were away,
let him out by accident.
Has anything been disturbed?
It does not appear so.
Computer.
Has anyone been in my quarters other than Cmdr La Forge and myself?
Negative.
That's really strange.
To be on the safe side, I should report a possible unauthorized entry.
Geordi?
May I ask your advice...
..in a personal matter?
Sure, Data.
Should I pursue a relationship with Lt D'Sora?
I thought she and Jeff...
They have discontinued their association.
She has made the first move to initiate a relationship with me.
What should I do?
Boy!
She's just coming out of a bad situation.
You know, sometimes, it takes people a while, Data.
But then, if they jump into another relationship,
that can be trouble, unless she's really ready,
then I guess it depends on whether you're really serious.
This can be a little complicated. My advice is...
..ask somebody else for advice.
At least someone who's got experience at giving advice.
I think you should be careful.
This isn't just some experiment you're running, Data.
Jenna is a living, breathing person
with needs and feelings to be considered.
Then you do not believe I should pursue this?
I didn't say that. I just want you to be aware
that this is unlike any more casual relationship that you've attempted.
I have studied much human literature on the subject of love.
There are many role models.
Ultimately, Jenna will care for you for who you are,
not what you imitate from a book.
My programming may be inadequate to the task.
We're all more than the sum of our parts.
You'll have to be more than the sum of your programming.
Klingons do not pursue relationships.
They conquer that which they desire.
However,...
..Lt D'Sora serves under my command.
If she were mistreated,
I would be very displeased,
sir.
I understand.
I think you should pursue it.
She's a beautiful woman. She seems to be crazy about you.
Jenna has demonstrated how she feels.
But I cannot return those feelings.
Data.
When you get involved with another person,
there are always risks of disappointment, of getting hurt.
I cannot be hurt. But she can.
Jenna knows that and has decided to take the chance.
When it works, it's not like anything you've ever experienced.
The rewards are far greater than simple friendship.
How far?
That's what I hope you'll find out.
Captain.
- I am seeking advice in... - Yes, I've heard, Data.
I'd be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women.
When I have some I'll let you know.
Second Officer's personal log, star date 44935.6.
After conferring with my colleagues on romantic love in general,
and my own situation in particular,
I have reached a decision.
They're lovely!
Come in.
- What are they? - A variety of crystilia.
Their fragrance is an evolutionary response
to the acrid atmosphere on Telemarius IV.
You silver-tongued devil!
Why don't I find a place to put these? Which won't be easy.
It seems your quarters have reverted to their earlier state.
I know. I'm hopeless.
There!
They're beautiful, Data. It's really sweet of you.
Cmdr Riker suggested this flower.
He said it had worked for him.
You didn't talk to the entire ship about us?
No. In actuality, less than one percent of the crew was involved.
It was necessary to balance theory with experiential reference.
Both are required for a program of this nature.
Computer.
Decrease illumination level by one-third standard lux.
- This is all part of a program? - Yes.
One which I have created for romantic relationships.
So, I'm just a small variable...
..in one of your new computational environments?
You are more than that.
I have written a subroutine for you. A program within a program.
I have devoted a considerable share of my resources to it.
That's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.
Estimated time of arrival, Mr. Data?
We will reach the class-M planet in approximately 11 hours.
You have the bridge.
Picard to Lt Worf.
- Yes, Captain. - Step into my ready room.
- And bring a tricorder. - Aye, Captain.
- Captain? - What do you make of this?
- I am puzzled, sir. - So am l.
The only detectable bioelectrical residuals are your own.
- You did not...? - No, I did not.
Perhaps we have a poltergeist.
- Sir? - A mischievous spirit.
- Sir... - Perhaps not.
I cannot explain how an intruder entered this room.
- I recommend a red alert. - Not yet.
Then I will order my officers to stand watch.
That's alright.
I think, for now, circumstances warrant caution, nothing more.
As you wish, Captain.
Enter.
I know it's a little unexpected.
You are correct. I did not anticipate your arrival until 1900 hours.
I couldn't wait.
I wanted you to have this.
You have expressed dissatisfaction with my spartan quarters.
Is this an attempt at embellishment?
- The cat's out of the bag! - Spot?
No, I mean you've caught me in the act.
I'm just trying to brighten things up around here.
It's Tyrinean. What do you think?
Its line is both fluid and formal
yet retains an unpremeditated quality.
The tactility of its surface
is evocative of the neo-primitive period in Tyrinean blade carving.
I hadn't thought of that.
I'm sorry. Don't let me interrupt.
As you wish.
Data?
Yes?
The Book of Love, chapter four, paragraph 17.
"When your girlfriend arrives with a gift,
stop whatever it is you're doing
and give her your undivided attention."
I should not have resumed painting?
No.
Despite suggesting that I continue?
Exactly.
I have much to learn.
Why don't we start with this?
A critical analysis isn't necessarily the best response to a gift.
Perhaps if I look for a place to display it?
Much better.
The ambient light in this location accentuates its contours.
However, a gift should not necessarily be placed
according to aesthetic criteria.
A more central location would give added meaning.
Data, what's important is that you're trying.
You don't know how much that means to me.
Why don't you go back to your painting?
I really mean it this time.
I'll see you tonight.
Riker to Picard. You'd better come out here.
Acknowledged.
We're at the designated coordinates. But the M-class planet...
..it's gone.
Are you sure there was no malfunction?
Scanners register radiation levels indicative of a class-M planet.
Sir.
Mr. Data, run a systems diagnostic.
Atmospheric decompression in observation lounge.
Environmental compensation sequence has been initiated.
I register no hull breach.
- Scan for life forms. - None, sir.
Captain, standard air pressure has been re-established.
Let's have a look. Mr. Data?
I do not understand.
Are you picking anything up?
No unusual readings along standard parameters.
Curious.
The aluminium alloy in this window
is exhibiting a pattern of transient electrical currents.
- Explanation? - I have none.
The rate is like a subspace distortion
but I am picking up no subspace field.
Hold position while we seek an explanation.
Let's divert all our resources to that end.
Honey?
I'm home!
- Hi. - Hi.
- Any luck with your diagnostic? - Negative.
We found no malfunctions.
We did a full security sweep. Nothing.
May l...
..get you a drink, dear?
Well, yes. I'll have a Calaman sherry.
Excellent choice. I'll join you.
Computer. Two...
..Calaman sherries.
Would you care for some dinner?
I'm too tired to think about it. Maybe later.
Whatever you wish, dear.
There we are.
Darling...
..you remain as aesthetically pleasing as the first day we met.
I believe I am the most fortunate sentient
in this sector of the galaxy!
Now, you... relax,
put your feet up.
and I will take care of everything.
I could organize your closets.
I have found that by grouping apparel first by function,
then by colour, light to dark,
one can more easily find one's desired choice.
That's alright. You don't have to.
- But I am happy to do it. - Just put them down.
What do you wish me to do, dear? Am I not paying enough attention to you?
No, that's not it...
Perhaps I am not giving you enough compliments?
Your hair...
..is looking particularly silky tonight.
Data, there's something strange about the way you're acting.
Am I not being a solicitous mate?
- Well, yes... - Tending to your every need?
What's wrong with you tonight?
My most recent self-diagnostic revealed no malfunctions.
Perhaps something is wrong with you!
I have never seen you behave so foolishly!
- Why are you doing this? - Don't tell me how to behave!
- You're not my mother! - What?!
"You are not my mother."
That is the appropriate response for your statement.
Data, I think you should just leave.
You do not wish to continue our lovers' quarrel?
Is that what this is?
In my study of interpersonal dynamics,
I have found that conflict, followed by emotional release,
strengthens the connection between two people.
But...
..there's something so forced and artificial
about the way you're doing it.
It's just not the real you.
With regard to romantic relationships,...
..there is no real me.
I am drawing upon cultural and literary sources to define my role.
Kiss me.
What were you just thinking?
In that particular moment,
I was reconfiguring the warp-field parameters,
analyzing the collected works of Charles Dickens,
calculating the maximum pressure I could apply to your lips,
considering a new food supplement for Spot...
I'm glad I was in there somewhere.
A complete sensor scan of the planet came up with no surprises.
No signs of life, nothing out of the ordinary.
Seven more unusual incidents have been reported.
No casualties or damage.
We can only state that a subspace effect seems to exist.
After analysis, I may be able to adjust the sensors
to locate the anomaly.
The ship is at risk here.
We could investigate from outside the nebula.
Agreed.
Ensign, plot the most direct course ahead, warp one.
- Aye, sir. - Captain.
Captain! Explosive decompression on deck 37.
Bridge to La Forge. Damage report.
We're showing damage between decks. We haven't localized it yet.
- Thorne, are you alright? - Yes, sir.
Bridge, a cryogenic control-conduit just blew out on us.
I almost lost a man.
- Ensign, full stop. - Aye, sir.
- La Forge to bridge. - Go ahead.
I think we have some damage between decks 36 and 37.
I'll check it out.
Van Mayter, go to 23-M and look at those bridge connectors.
Thorne, I'll cover the aft section. You go down...
Captain's log, supplemental.
This series of unexplained events has resulted in a death.
But Mr. Data may have an explanation.
During the last occurrence, I confirmed one of my hypotheses.
The unusual preponderance of dark matter in this nebula
is causing small gaps in the fabric of normal space.
As the Enterprise moves through this nebula,
it is colliding with these deformations.
So, every time we hit one, part of the ship
phases out of normal space.
Or when one of them hits us.
Our reading suggests that the deformations are in motion.
It's a good thing one didn't pass through a photon-torpedo casing.
The question is, how do we get out?
Could you reconfigure the sensors to detect these anomalies?
Yes, sir. But only at extremely close range.
Even at minimal speed, it is almost impossible
to manoeuvre quickly enough to avoid them.
A shuttlecraft is more manoeuvrable.
He's right.
Position the shuttlecraft in front of the Enterprise.
It could detect the pockets. We could manoeuvre out of the way.
We could give the shuttle control of our navigational systems.
The corresponding manoeuvres would be almost instantaneous.
Make it so.
I'll do pre-flight on board.
Not this time. I want you on the bridge.
Sir?
I'm going to pilot the shuttle.
Captain, it is my duty
to safeguard the lives on this ship, including yours.
The Enterprise can't afford to lose you.
I believe our best chance is for me to pilot the shuttle.
It's my ship, Will. I've got to do this.
Sir.
Shuttle three to Enterprise. Telemetry link enabled.
Ship's computer is accepting inputs from the shuttle.
Forward sensors are on line.
Ensign, plot a course for the shortest distance out of the nebula.
Plot laid in, sir. Outer perimeter at 32 million kilometres.
- 0.1 impulse, Number One. - Acknowledged. We're behind you.
Riker to O'Brien. Lock on to the Captain so I can pull him out.
Aye, sir.
Changing course. New heading, 299 mark 029.
Main coupling is matching navigational inputs.
New heading confirmed.
I missed it by less than 1,000 metres.
Advise your status.
Sensors indicate deformation passing 500 metres off the starboard bow.
One down, Captain.
Resuming previous course.
Confirmed. Out of perimeter now at 30.1 million kilometres.
Changing course. Heading 073 mark 288.
New heading, 284 mark 013...
I'm losing manoeuvrability.
Sensors indicate damage to the shuttle's starboard impulse-nacelle.
I'm rerouting the secondary deuterium supply.
Switching to manual control.
Transceiver signal is down 42 percent.
Navigational inputs not registering.
We've lost our link, Captain.
You'll have to make course changes manually for now.
Understood. Mr. Data, get us back on line.
Geordi, try boosting power to the LU bands.
McKnight, increase distance to the shuttle.
We're going to need room to make adjustments.
New heading, 299 mark 18.
Yes, sir. Course corrected.
- Enterprise, hard starboard! - Aye, sir.
Deformation impact on deck 15, science section.
Damage?
Reports coming in. Minimal damage.
Mr. La Forge. I'm still having difficulty controlling her.
Your storage cells are losing their charge.
You will start to lose manual control.
- Estimated distance to perimeter? - 4. 7 million kilometres.
Is there a way to transfer microfusion to get power?
Possibly, if you augment the thruster sequencer.
Relative bearing 27... Make that 285 mark 255.
Commander, the shuttle is out of control.
Mr. O'Brien, do you have the Captain's signal?
I'm having trouble locking on, sir.
The shuttle's dampeners have failed. It is breaking up.
Let's get him out!
Now would be a good time, Mr. O'Brien.
Did we get him back?
Aye, sir, we got him.
I'm dizzy but none the worse. I'm on my way.
Acknowledged, sir.
Commander, we are nearing the perimeter. One million kilometres.
- Alright. Let's make a run for it. - Aye, sir.
We're clear, sir.
Ensign, plot a course for Star base 260, warp two.
Aye, sir.
Engage.
Enter.
Hi.
Hi.
The place looks great.
Thank you. It is much less spartan, is it not?
Much less.
It looks great, it really does.
It looks... great.
Jenna, you are repeating yourself.
This is often indicative of mental distraction.
Is that correct in this instance?
I'm afraid it is.
Perhaps we should eat.
Among humans, a low serum-glucose level...
Data, I think we should talk.
Could you sit down?
I'm not sure how to begin.
What is the subject?
You and l.
- Our relationship. - Yes?
Data.
Sometimes people blindly make the same mistake again and again.
Are you experiencing this phenomenon?
I didn't see it until today.
I got out of a relationship with an unemotional man...
..and I got right back into another one,...
..with a man who's absolutely incapable of emotion.
There does appear to be a recurring motif.
You were so kind and attentive.
I thought that would be enough.
Is it not?
No, it's not.
Because as close as we are...
..l don't really matter to you. Not really.
Nothing I can say or do will ever make you happy or sad.
Or touch you in any way.
That is a valid projection.
It is apparent that my reach has exceeded my grasp.
I am, perhaps, not nearly so human as I aspire to become.
If you are ready, I will bring our meal.
No, that's alright, Data.
- I'm going to go now. - As you wish.
Jenna.
Are we no longer... a couple?
No, we're not.
Then I will delete the appropriate program.
I'll see you later.
Hello, Spot.


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