THINE OWN SELF


Bridge Officer's log, stardate 47611.2.
Dr Beverly Crusher reporting.
We have rendezvoused with Troi's shuttlecraft.
She has just returned from a class reunion on Starbase 231.
Send a message to Cmdr Data and inform him of our delay.
Aye, sir.
- Deanna, welcome back. - Thank you.
I was just reporting in. I didn't expect anyone to be up but Data.
Data's away on assignment.
A Federation deep-space probe went off course and crashed on Barkon IV.
Some of the material was radioactive,
so Data was sent to recover it before contamination spread.
- Isn't Barkon IV inhabited? - Yes. It's a pre-industrial society.
But the probe crashed 100 kilometres from any settlement,
so Data shouldn't have any contact with the Barkonians.
- So, how was the reunion? - Fine.
It was good to see some old friends. I'd lost touch with most of them.
It's interesting to see the different paths some of their lives have taken.
Beverly, you don't usually watch the bridge, even when Data's not here.
I volunteered tonight.
I like to put in a little bridge time now and then,
stay on top of operations, technical procedures.
The truth is, I like it.
Not every doctor gets to command a starship, even if it is night shift.
May I ask you a personal question?
Why did you decide to become Commander?
I mean, you don't need the rank in order to be Chief Medical Officer.
So, why put yourself through all the extra work?
I don't know.
I never used to think about rank.
It seemed trivial compared to being a doctor.
But then, about eight years ago,
I started to feel like I wanted to stretch myself a little.
Commander, there's no response from Cmdr Data.
Continue sending him updates on our schedule.
- Aye, sir. - Is something wrong?
No. I wanted to tell Data there's a few days' delay in picking him up.
We have orders to take some medical supplies to the Taranko colony.
But he's not responding?
Geordi said the probe's radiation might interfere with communications.
I just thought I'd try anyway.
So when you return from school, I'll be with the village elders.
- Again? - Gia.
I know, you're the town magistrate and you have a lot of work to do,
but it seems you're always in some meeting or...
Space, the final frontier.
These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.
Its continuing mission, to explore strange new worlds...
...to seek out new life and new civilisations...
...to boldly go where no one has gone before.
Gia, go home. Now!
Who are you?
What do you want?
Who are you? Wha...
What do you want?
What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with you?
There's nothing wrong with me. Who are you?
What is your name?
Can you understand me?
My name is Garvin.
My name...
...is Garvin.
I thought I told you to go home.
I know.
I...
...do not know my name.
What?
You asked if I knew my name.
I do not.
At least you seem to be understanding a little more.
Yes.
It is becoming easier.
Ask him where he's from, Father.
Gia, go on to school. I'll deal with the stranger.
Yes, Father.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Your eyes and skin look so strange.
Your clothes, you look like you've been in some kind of accident.
I do not remember being in an accident.
What do you remember?
I walked here. From the mountains.
The mountains? The mountains are over 200 seltons from here.
I have a clear memory of my journey.
What do you remember before that?
I have no prior memory.
Do you know what that is?
No.
May I?
- May I have it? - Yes.
There might be something in here that can tell us who you are.
I wonder what these markings mean.
- Radioactive. - What?
- It is written on the container. - You can read this language?
Evidently.
Radioactive. What does that mean?
I do not know.
Perhaps it is my name.
I never heard a name like that.
You must come from a very distant place.
Is that supposed to be a question?
Because if you're asking me if I like it, then yes.
This is a better way of communicating for you.
It's less confusing than the way you speak.
I knew I could count on the ship's Counsellor to boost my self-image!
I'm glad to be of service.
Did you want something, or just general Riker-bashing?
I wanted to ask your opinion about something.
I'm thinking of taking the bridge officer's test, becoming a commander.
What brought this up?
A lot of things. Working on the personnel review last month,
talking to Beverly about her experiences,
going to my class reunion.
The class reunion. You saw a few old friends who had taken the test?
Alright, I admit it was a catalyst.
But I've been thinking about this off and on for the past two years.
Why two years?
Remember when we hit that quantum filament
and I was in command on the bridge?
I do.
When that happened, I was overwhelmed.
But when it was over, I realised that a part of me missed it.
Not the actual disaster, but the experience of being in command.
I felt like I was exploring a whole new side of myself.
I don't want to give up counselling, but just stretch myself a little.
Deanna, if you take the bridge officer's test,
you'll have my full support.
But as First Officer, I'll be the one judging you, and I'm a tough judge.
And I'm a good student.
We'll start tomorrow morning. 0800 hours.
Remarkable set of teeth.
Breath smells like... It doesn't have any smell actually.
You can close your mouth.
Let's see. Heartbeat sounds a little odd, but seems very regular.
Skin feels... clammy, but you say you feel fine?
That is correct.
Headaches, palpitations, sluggishness, indigestion?
No. But I cannot have indigestion since I have not eaten.
Malnutrition. You should eat something to build your strength
and return your vitality. Lots of meat, butter, cheese for a start.
What about his eyes and his skin? They're so odd.
Quite so. My grandmother would have called our friend a demon
or a spirit or some sort of monster.
But current scientific methodology allows us to dismiss superstitions
and concentrate on scientific reality.
- Then what do you believe I am? - You are an ice man.
Ice man?
Yes. You probably come from a race
who lived in the ice of the Vellorian mountains.
Your skin and eye colour
are a result of prolonged exposure to harsh winter conditions.
Then I am not ill?
Aside from your memory loss,
you do not seem to have symptoms of any illness I am familiar with.
No. You are an ice man.
Now, get something to eat and a good night's rest,
and I'll come back tomorrow and see if your memory has begun to return.
Thank you.
- Hello, Gia. - Hello.
What did Talar say about him? Is he sick?
Not exactly. She said he's lost his memory but seems fine otherwise.
Talar thinks he's from a race in the mountains.
I am an ice man.
We'll have to call you something else until your memory returns.
What was the word on the container?
Radioactive.
Mr Radioactive.
I don't like that name. Let's call him... Jayden.
What do you think of that?
Jayden. That is acceptable.
Now, we need to clean him and get him something to wear.
Run upstairs and get some of my old clothes.
Yes, Father.
I wonder if Skoran can tell us something about this metal of yours.
You, ice man! Where'd you find this?
- I do not know. - I told you, he's lost his memory.
- We're calling him Jayden for now. - Jayden, huh?
- The metal is slightly warm. - All the fragments are like that.
It's obviously been tempered and milled.
The lustrous quality of the metal is so pure.
This wasn't made in any forge that I've ever seen.
- Will you sell them? - Do you want them?
It's malleable enough to make jewellery.
They belong to Jayden. Do you want to sell them? You will need money.
You may be right. But I do not wish to sell all the fragments.
They may provide a clue to my identity.
I'll give you 20 doraks for half the lot.
Agreed.
My leg! Get it off!
- Get it off! - We need a lever!
It'll be alright. Don't struggle.
Jayden. Put it down.
I believe the support structure on the anvil collapsed
because some of the wood had rotted.
Did I do something wrong, Garvin?
No. Just unexpected.
It's perfectly understandable.
Your people probably all have great strength,
to fight off the ferocious creatures that live in the Vellorian mountains.
You told me that no one from the village has been to the mountains.
How do you know there are ferocious creatures there?
It's a well-known fact.
But no one has actually seen one?
Well, not to my knowledge, but...
Father, are you alright?
I've been tired since this afternoon. I'm sure it's nothing.
You feel slightly warm. Fresh air and a brisk walk will do you good.
That sounds like a good idea.
I'll be back soon.
You didn't like it?
I neither liked it nor disliked it. I simply had no appetite.
Father's cooking isn't as good as Mother's. He tries, though.
Where is your mother?
She died about a year ago. Father said she...
...she went to a beautiful place...
...where everything is peaceful and everyone loves each other...
...and no one ever gets sick.
Do you think there is a place like that?
Yes.
I do.
We lost contact with everything above deck 21, including the bridge.
There's something wrong with one of the antimatter-containment units.
- Switch to auxiliary control. - Auxiliary control is not on line.
We are losing containment on the antimatter unit three.
Alright.
Switch the EM power inverter to the lateral... No, wait!
Use the neodyne relay.
Commander, the relay isn't holding. Containment failure in ten seconds.
Computer, emergency procedure.
Eject antimatter unit three. Authorisation Troi Omega Omega 31.
Unable to comply. Power to ejection systems has been terminated.
Commander, the unit's...
Congratulations. You just destroyed the Enterprise.
- Thank you for the encouragement! - Don't feel bad.
You passed the rest,
diplomatic law, first contact procedure, bridge operations.
Engineering's the toughest part of the test.
- So, what did I do wrong? - I'm afraid I can't tell you that.
Why not? What kind of test is this?
The kind you have to take again if you want to be a bridge officer!
Only next time, the problem won't be so easy.
So I suggest you study your emergency procedures.
How can I, if you won't tell me what I did wrong?
I don't know.
I'm afraid I can't tell you that either.
Rock, fire, sky and water are the basic elements of the universe.
They can be found in every object, animal, person, everything.
The rock in this wood can be felt by its weight and hardness.
If we expose the wood to flame,
we can encourage the fire within the wood to show itself.
We can also see smoke...
...which is a part of the sky.
The water in wood is difficult to see.
Sometimes the elements are buried deep within objects,
but the four elements are always there.
Yes, Jayden?
I do not believe that is correct.
Oh?
I believe you are reasoning by analogy,
classifying things according to superficial observation
rather than empirical evidence.
Wood, for example, does not contain fire because it is combustible,
nor does it contain rock because it is heavy.
Wood, like any complex organic form,
is composed of thousands of chemical compounds, none of which is fire.
That will be enough, Jayden.
As I told you, our friend Jayden has lost much of his memory,
so I wouldn't put too much faith in any of his ideas.
That is all for today. I will see you tomorrow.
Practise your spelling and arithmetic tonight.
Are you alright?
Yes. But I do not agree with Talar's assessment.
Although I do have gaps in my memory,
I know that fire is not an element.
That is not what you promised me!
You're getting old. I offered you 15 for the metal and I gave it to you.
We agreed on 20.
Garvin is correct. You agreed on 20.
Stay out of this, ice man! Your memory is not reliable.
Father! Father, what's wrong?
I don't know. I feel very weak suddenly.
You have a fever. We should get him home.
- What's wrong with him? - I suspect he...
I don't know. I've never encountered anything like this before.
These lesions look like burn marks.
The fluids of his body have overheated.
That would explain the fever and burning skin.
Keep him cool, let plenty of fresh air into the house,
and I want you to give him these herbs.
That will bring his fluidic temperature down
and allow this to pass.
I understand.
With an increased focal length
and an achromatic objective lens,
this instrument will have a higher effective magnification.
I will come back tomorrow and check on you.
Thank you.
Garvin, with your permission,
I would like to begin my own investigation into your illness.
Go ahead.
Gia, would you accompany me to the village?
I will need some supplies.
What are you going to do with all this?
Make the laboratory equipment to research your father's illness.
- Do you think you can help him? - I do not know.
I must isolate the cause of the illness...
There he is!
It's his fault! No one was sick before he came to the village.
- Has Garvin's illness spread? - That's right. And you're the cause.
- That's not true! - Gia, I think we should leave.
That's it. Leave. Get out of here. Go back to where you came from!
Jayden, what are you doing?
I'm studying skin samples from Gia and Garvin
in an attempt to isolate the cause of the illness.
Gia?
Yes. She is also beginning to show signs of the illness.
What is that?
It is a magnifying device based on your handheld instrument.
I have refined the design to increase magnification.
- May I? - Of course.
How strong is the magnification?
Objects appear approximately 500 times their normal size.
As you can see, the cellular damage is quite extensive.
Based on interstitial transparency and membrane integrity,
I do not believe it is an infection or a communicable disease.
I see.
At the moment, I am looking for a common event or experience
that Gia, Garvin and Skoran may have shared
that could have a causal relationship to their illness.
They've lived here many years and have many common experiences.
Yes. But since the illness struck all three in a short period of time,
we must assume the experience is recent and unusual.
Actually, Jayden, encountering you
has been the most unusual experience they've shared recently.
I am aware of that. Excuse me.
I am also open to the possibility that I may be the causal factor.
However, since you have had much contact with me
and show no sign of sickness, I tend to discount myself.
Still, it has to be more than just a coincidence
that shortly after you arrived, people started to become ill.
I agree.
Jayden, I tried to give Father his broth, but he won't eat.
You have a fever. You should be in bed.
No, I'm alright. Father needs me.
Talar is correct. You should rest. I will attend to your father.
Gia, when did you begin wearing that pendant?
Two days ago. Father bought it from Skoran. Why?
May I see it?
This is one of the metal fragments I sold to Skoran.
The secondary plasma vent...
...has a triple redundant bypass.
Which means that the primary access junction...
...is routed through...
Come in.
...would be routed through the port transducer matrix.
Come to give me more encouragement?
No. I'm here to tell you that I've decided to cancel your test.
What?!
- I'm cancelling the test. - May I ask why?
You've taken engineering three times. You're no closer to passing.
Then I'll take it four times. Or 14 times.
Or however many times it's necessary for me to get it right!
Deanna... this is nothing personal.
Not everyone is cut out to be a bridge officer.
- I don't think this is for you. - Why?
Because I'm not the most technically minded person on the ship?
I may have trouble telling a plasma conduit from a phase inducer,
but there's more to being a bridge officer than memorising manuals.
There is. You could memorise all the manuals in the computer.
I still don't think you'd pass.
Tell me one thing, is there a solution?
Or is this simply a test of my ability to handle a no-win situation?
- There is a solution. - Then give me time to find it.
I can't.
As much as I care about you, my first duty is to the ship.
I cannot let any bridge officer serve who's not qualified. I'm sorry.
"My first duty is to the ship."
The ship!
Computer, load bridge officer's test, engineering qualification.
- Computer ready. - Run program.
The primary containment control system is not functioning.
The conduit to the antimatter storage deck is severed.
Geordi...
...could you repair the conduit if you went into the crawlspace?
Sir, that crawlway is in a warp-plasma shaft.
- He would not survive the radiation. - I know that.
Geordi, could you repair the conduit?
Yeah. I think I could.
Then do it. That's an order.
End simulation.
Something told me you wouldn't let this go.
Congratulations. You passed.
That's what this was about, to see if I'd order someone to their death.
That's right.
That was part of being in command I thought I'd prepared for.
But when the moment came, I hesitated.
Maybe you were right, maybe I'm not cut out for this.
You did exactly what you had to do.
You considered all your options and then you made the hard choice.
Come on.
Let's get out of here, Commander.
I have coated this piece of cloth with the liquid used in lamps.
The cloth becomes luminescent when it is exposed to an energy source.
This pendant also appears to be an energy source.
But... where is this pattern of light coming from?
I believe a stream of particles is emanating from the metallic pendant
and hitting the cloth.
I don't see particles coming from the pendant.
You will see there are. I can even block them.
It would appear that this container was constructed of a material
which blocks the particles coming from the metal.
- It's a trick. - No. It is empirical data.
I believe the fragments were placed in this container
to protect people from accidental exposure.
The word "radioactive" may be a warning about the dangerous metal.
Alright. Let's say for the moment you are right,
that there are particles coming from the metal. What should we do?
I will continue my experiment.
I want you to gather all the pieces of metal in the village
and place them in this container.
Alright. But when I return, I want a thorough explanation of all this.
And I want to examine your data, in detail.
Of course.
There you are! You're the cause of this, ice man!
If you refer to the illness, you are partially correct.
But it is more complex than that.
The metal fragment...
What... what are you?
I do not know.
I saw it with my own eyes. He's some kind of creature.
It's not true, Father.
We must fight him. And stop him before he kills us all.
I don't... Not Jayden. He wouldn't try to hurt us.
Come on!
Let him rest for now. You should rest as well.
Exerting yourself will only make you sicker.
I'll be back.
Gia.
Jayden!
Everyone's looking for you.
Skoran said... you're some kind of... creature.
I do not know... what I am.
But I am not like you.
I know. You are an ice man. We talked about that.
No.
I am not.
Jayden, why are you wearing that hood?
I do not wish to frighten you.
I won't be afraid. Take it off. Please. I have to see.
I understand your reaction.
But I do not wish to harm you.
You or Garvin or anyone else.
I only wish to help, to find a cure for the illness.
I was very close.
I must continue my work, but it will take time.
How long until Skoran and the others return?
I don't know. They're looking for you now.
Then I must hurry.
Gia...
I believe I have found the answer.
You think you've found a cure?
I believe so.
I tested this medicine on skin samples from your father.
They showed improvement, so I administered this to him.
He is now recovering.
What kind of medicine is it?
A compound which will neutralise the particles that are making you ill.
Swallow this.
I must administer this to everyone in the village,
but they do not trust me after what happened to Skoran.
I could tell them.
I am afraid they will not believe you, either.
Is the well in the town square the only source of water in the town?
- Well? - This is very important.
Are there any sources of fresh water near the village?
No. The nearest river...
...is two days away.
Then I will put this compound into the well water.
It may be diluted, but it should still have enough potency to work.
Compound...
There he is!
You see? It's just as I said.
I only wish to help.
This is how you helped us, by bringing this plague?
Trying to kill us all?
Well, you won't succeed! I won't let you!
Excuse me. We're looking for a friend of ours.
He might have wandered into your village a few days ago.
You'd remember him. He would have seemed strange.
Pale skin, gold eyes.
- He was your friend? - Yes, do you know him?
Where is he?
I don't understand.
We didn't know his real name, so we called him Jayden.
He's dead?
They killed him because they were afraid of him,
but he saved us from sickness.
The sickness?
There were these pieces of metal. They made everyone sick.
But Jayden put something in the water and now everyone's better.
- What happened to the metal? - We buried them in the forest.
What was his real name?
Data.
Data.
He was my friend, too.
It's Data, alright. He's buried about two metres down.
He's been deactivated so I can't assess the damage.
We could beam him and the probe fragments onto the ship.
No one would know.
Positronic net on line. Subprocessor relays in place.
Neuroelectrical systems enabled.
Data! Are you alright?
I do not know.
I am surprised to find myself here. I thought I was on Barkon IV.
What's the last thing you remember?
I had located the crashed Federation probe
and collected the radioactive fragments,
I was attempting to download the sensor logs from the probe computer.
There was a power surge.
I believe the surge overloaded my positronic matrix.
After that, I have no memory until this moment.
It appears I had an interesting time.
We don't know much either.
Apparently, you saved an entire village from radiation poisoning.
And were a very special friend to a little girl.
Well, if you'll excuse me,
I have the bridge this watch.
Counsellor, have you been promoted in my absence?
That's right. Which means from now on you can call me "sir."
Yes, sir.


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