I don't want any trouble here, Barclay.
Why would there be trouble?
Wherever you go, trouble follows.
- Lt Barclay, you're on duty. - Is that a fact?
It is and you'll observe it. So get back to your post.
Look, pal, why don't you do me a favour?
Take your holier-than-thou attitude and get out of my life.
This is insubordination, Mr. Barclay.
Here's to insubordination.
Riker, you're nothing but a pretty mannequin in a fancy uniform.
You're full of hot air.
Picard has a problem with me,
you tell him to come and talk to me himself.
I feel your confidence, your arrogant resolve.
It excites me.
Lt Barclay, report to cargo bay five now.
It'll have to wait till later, darling.
I'll be right there!
Save program.
I don't know what to do with him. He's always late.
He never gives his best effort, just slides by.
I can't deal with it. How did he make it through the Academy?
It's time we spoke to the Captain about Broccoli.
- That's what Wesley calls him. - It fits.
Commander, a broken seal.
Better destroy it. The samples will be tainted.
Is it a problem for you to report to duty on time?
No, sir.
I'm very sorry, sir.
I had a very important communiqué, which required my response.
I don't want to hear it.
We have a problem with this antigrav unit. See what you can do.
Mr. Barclay, I'm tired of seeing your name on report.
I don't know about your last posting,
but on the Enterprise, we set a different standard.
- Understood? - Understood, sir.
Space, the final frontier.
These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.
Its continuing mission, to explore strange new worlds,...
..to seek out new life and new civilizations,...
..to boldly go where no one has gone before.
Captain's log, star date 43807.4.
We're taking tissue samples donated by the Mikulaks
for shipment to Nahmi IV,
where they may help to contain an outbreak of Correllium fever.
Everything looks normal to me.
Computer, activate antigrav unit.
Damn it!
I don't understand.
Engineering, I need more people in cargo bay five. La Forge out.
We could use a hand, Mr. Barclay.
I'll disassemble it later, Commander.
It shouldn't do that.
Well, I mean, of course it shouldn't do that.
It shouldn't do that.
I'm not accustomed to seeing an unsatisfactory rating like this.
The question is if Mr. Barclay is Enterprise material.
So, you've requested that he be transferred?
I hate to say it, but I always thought I could work with anybody.
But Broccoli makes me nervous. He makes everybody nervous.
- Broccoli? - Young Mr. Crusher started that.
- I guess it's caught on. - Let's get that uncaught.
Indications are that he served competently in Starfleet for years.
His ratings on the Zhukov were satisfactory.
I recall Capt Gleason speaking highly of him
before his transfer.
I wonder if Capt Gleason wasn't buttering our bread.
He knew that we needed an engineer.
Barclay's psychological profile shows a history of seclusive tendencies.
It was noted at the Academy.
Yet he has made the same commitment to Starfleet that we all have.
It's easy to transfer a problem to someone else. Too easy.
Captain, I have tried.
Try harder, Geordi. He's a member of your team.
Try to find a way to help him make a positive contribution.
Get to know the man better. Make him your best friend.
With all due respect, my best friend?
I can barely tolerate being in a room with him.
I suggest you put your personal discomfort on one side.
- Dismissed. - Yes, sir.
How's it going?
I still haven't traced the problem, Commander.
- It's alright. No problem. - I'm going to run diagnostics
on the graviton inverter's circuits.
Smart plan. I'd say we're in good hands.
- I'll give you a report... - Whenever.
..before the end of the day.
Fine. Fine.
How about sitting in on the mission briefing in the morning?
- Me? - I'd like your input.
What on? Do you want me to prepare a...?
No, no. Just be there.
- 0800 hours. - I'll be on time, sir.
Good. Carry on.
Morning. Start your brains, gentlemen, and let's do it.
- Anybody seen Lt Barclay? - Not yet, sir.
OK. This trip to Nahmi IV is pretty routine,
so we'll have time to realign the capacitors on both injectors.
Duffy, Costa, that'll be your assignment.
We can do the flow-regulator maintenance at the same time.
Good idea. Ensign Crusher will be training with us this week.
I'll assign him to you, Mr. Myers.
Be sure and teach him the difference between impulse and warp drive.
Lt Barclay has been working on the mystery of the antigrav failure.
Your preliminary report had some interesting theories.
Why don't you bring us up to speed on your findings?
It wasn't a maintenance problem.
Everything checked out.
I'll look for a surge in the transfer coils.
A coil surge wouldn't cause field dissipation.
- I realize that. - Don't ignore possibilities, Wes.
Check the flow capacitor. That could have affected the antigrav field.
I was going to.
Good. OK, let's take a look at that realignment procedure.
I just didn't know what to say.
What do you wish you had said?
I should've told him to mind his own damn business!
I knew about the flux capacitor.
I didn't need to hear about it from a 1 7-year-old kid.
You're letting this get you much too upset.
You think so?
Why are you so hard on yourself?
You don't know.
- It's hard out there. - I understand.
But let go of it. You're here now.
You're right, of course.
Of course.
- Let me help you relax. - I'd like that.
I knew you would.
That's nice.
But I'm in the mood
for someplace a little more unusual.
Computer, run Barclay program 1 5.
I am the goddess of Empathy.
Cast off your inhibitions and embrace love, truth,
We should discuss different approaches.
You didn't do anything wrong.
It's just that Barclay's my new project.
Broccoli's a real project!
I need to draw him out.
And I shut him down. Poor Broccoli.
Pardon me, but why is he being referred to as a vegetable?
It's a joke, Data. You know, a nickname?
Nicknames generally denote fondness,
a diminutive shared between friends.
Data's right. The nickname stops here and now. Captain's orders.
- What the hell? - What happened to your glass?
Nucleosynthesis. The glass has been altered at the atomic level.
- Problem with the replicator? - Unlikely.
That would have affected the contents as well as the glass.
The liquid was a synthehol replication
of a light ale of Earth origin, which is what Lt Duffy ordered.
I can't detect anything unusual that would have caused this.
The glass probably had contact with an unshielded power source.
That means a complete check of the power systems. All 4,000 of them.
Do I have the perfect man for the job. Reg! Are you busy?
I was just... No, not really. Why?
I've got another mystery for you.
Somehow the molecular structure of this cup has been altered.
We need to check the power systems to see if a leak caused this.
- I had... I was going to do that. - You were?
Yes. To try to explain the antigrav unit failure.
I still can't. Nothing about it makes sense.
It's possible that these two incidents are related.
This is minor, but it may be a symptom of a more serious problem.
Should we go to a star base?
Lt Barclay will check the power systems.
Lt Barclay suggested a link between the two incidents.
No, it wasn't... Not really.
Will your investigation affect our available power?
No. No, sir. We'll have to shut off some systems.
We'll shut them down a few at a time.
It shouldn't... I don't think so.
Good. I'll look forward to your report, Mr. Broccoli.
If you'll excuse me.
Metathesis is one of the most common of pronunciation errors.
A reversal of vowel and consonant. Barc to Broc...
Yes, I know him. He comes in, stands at the bar, doesn't say much.
- He orders a warm milk. - Figures!
Helps you sleep. You should try it. What's this to do with Barclay?
I'm just trying to figure the man out. Do you ever talk to him?
- He doesn't talk much. - Does he have any friends?
Not that I've seen.
What do you do with a guy like that?
Well, I just serve him warm milk and let him be.
I'm not so lucky. I can't let him be. He's my problem.
Well, he's imaginative.
- How do you know that? - I know.
Then maybe he's in the wrong job.
You engineering types don't appreciate imagination?
That's not it, Guinan. He just doesn't fit in here.
- Terkim. - What?
Reminds me of Terkim, my mother's brother. Sort of the family misfit.
Everybody told me to stay away from him. Bad influence.
- And did you? - Are you kidding?
He was the only one of my family with a sense of humour.
No one stayed around him long enough to realize it but me.
My mother says I remind her of him. I probably do.
The idea of fitting in just repels me.
Maybe I'm not making myself clear.
Barclay, well, he's always late.
The man's nervous. Nobody wants to be around him.
If I felt nobody wanted to be around me, I'd probably be late and nervous.
- Guinan, that's not the point. - Are you sure?
Excuse me.
Computer, where is Lt Barclay?
- Beverly? - Good morning, my lord.
Manners, my son. You embarrass me before our guest.
Master Barclay will spank you if you misbehave.
- Wesley? - What do you want?
I guess I want Master Barclay.
The boys got into another scrap, I'm afraid. Boys will be boys.
You cannot withstand our assault forever, Barclay.
You are outnumbered.
- Say you will yield. - I shall speak with my sword.
Where did you learn to fight like this?
Self-taught, my capitaine. Shall I give you a few lessons?
- Who is that? One of your allies? - Jean-Luc! Not that old trick.
I'm very disappointed in you.
I'll make it easy for you. I'll request a reassignment.
- Now, wait a minute. - Look, the whole ship knows
- I just can't cut it here. - Barclay.
I've spent time in the holodeck, too.
What you do in the holodeck is your own business.
As long as it doesn't interfere with your work.
You're not going to tell anyone about this?
I don't think everybody would appreciate your imagination
like I do.
It is kind of unusual, recreating people you already know.
Well, it was just...
I needed to blow off some steam.
One of the officers had been getting on my back.
Let me guess.
It was you.
And I just couldn't tell you what I wanted to tell you to your face,
so it just sort of got out of control.
There's a part of this that's kinda therapeutic.
You could talk to Counsellor Troi about it.
When I'm in there, I'm just more comfortable.
You don't know what a struggle this has been for me.
I'd like to help, if I can.
Being afraid all the time of forgetting somebody's name,
not knowing what to do with your hands. I mean,
I am the guy who writes down things to remember to say at a party.
And then, when he gets there, winds up alone in the corner,
trying to look comfortable examining a potted plant.
- You're just shy, Barclay. - Just shy.
Sounds like nothing serious, doesn't it?
You can't know.
- O'Brien to La Forge. - Go ahead.
I need you in transporter room three.
On my way, Chief.
Listen, Reg, I really do want you to talk to Counsellor Troi.
- Troi? No. I couldn't. - I mean it.
As your friend and as your commanding officer.
I was synchronizing the phase-transition coils,
like I've done a hundred times before.
The test object is pure duranium.
- Seems normal. - Watch this.
Glad I don't have anywhere to go.
Chief Engineer's log, star date 43808.2.
Analysis of transporter room three
reveals no cause for the latest malfunction.
- This part of the same pattern? - We don't know.
None of the other transporter rooms are malfunctioning.
We reach Nahmi IV in 22 hours. I want all transporters operational.
I want a level-one diagnostic across the board.
Have Mr. Barclay join us on the bridge immediately.
Make it 1 400 hours. I've got him working on something.
1 400 hours. Mr. O'Brien, no maintenance until further notice.
Aye, sir.
I know this is difficult for you.
Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?
Have you been with a counsellor before?
- Yes... No. - Which one?
Yes. But she... It wasn't...
It wasn't really a counsellor.
Most people find a counsellor intimidating at first.
It's OK if you feel that way toward me.
- Not at all. - Good.
Now, lean back, close your eyes.
I want to make you more comfortable.
- You do? - Yes.
It's OK.
Close your eyes.
What are you going to do?
Just listen to the sound of my voice.
Take a slow deep breath in through your nose...
..and let it out through your mouth just as slowly.
That's better, isn't it?
Much better. Oh, yes.
Yes, that's much better. That is extremely helpful.
- Thank you for your time. - But...
In through the nose, out through the mouth.
I'm going to practise that and I'll let you know. Thank you.
I had a very strange visit from one of your officers today.
Barclay? Yeah, I can imagine. Were you able to help him?
To be honest, I'm not sure what happened.
Where's Mr. Barclay? It's past 1 400 hours.
Lt Barclay, report to the bridge.
Lt Barclay, report!
Computer, locate Lt Barclay.
Lt Barclay is in holodeck two.
- I'll get him. - No, I'll handle this.
- I've had it with him. - Counsellor, you'd better come.
Barclay's been running some unique programs.
I don't care what he's been running. I just ran out of patience.
Like I said, Barclay's been running some unusual programs.
Crew members should not be simulated in the holodeck.
- There's no regulation against... - Well, there ought to be.
- Computer, discontinue and erase. - Belay that order.
If Barclay is having difficulty facing reality,
to suddenly destroy his only means of escape would be brutal
and could do considerable damage.
They are quite disagreeable, aren't they?
- Shall we have at them? - Delighted.
- We shall thrash them. - En garde!
Stop it. Put that down.
Your sword, sir.
I don't have a sword.
How do you expect to fight without your sword?
I don't expect to fight.
Do I detect a streak of yellow along the good fellow's back?
Perhaps we should supply a more appropriate adversary. Number One!
- Number One! - Here I come.
Am I late? Did I miss the fight? En garde!
You, sir, have a familiar bearing. Have we crossed swords before?
Where is he? Where's Barclay?
A personal grudge. I warn you,
put your affairs in order before you meet him in combat.
You challenge the greatest sword...
In all the holodeck.
You think this is funny?
You are very tall. It might seem threatening.
Mr. Barclay will learn how threatening.
Computer, discontinue image of Riker.
Sir! You have no sense of fair play.
Tell us where to find Barclay.
You want us to search for him?
It could give us information about what's troubling him.
A healthy fantasy is fine as long as it doesn't take over.
You call this healthy?
You're taking it so seriously. It's not without humour.
I am the goddess of Empathy.
Cast off your inhibitions, and embrace love,
truth, joy...
Oh, my God!
Discard your facades, and reveal your true being to me.
- Computer, discontinue... - Computer, belay that order.
We want to see what's troubling this poor man, remember?
Quite a healthy fantasy life, wouldn't you say?
- Report. - Velocity increased to warp 7.25.
- Compensating, sir. - Confirmed. Velocity now warp seven.
Maintain that. What the hell happened?
The matter/antimatter injectors locked for a split second.
I do not know why. They are working normally now.
- Picard to La Forge. - Go ahead.
What's this injector problem?
- Well, sir, I'm in holodeck two. - Another malfunction?
Not exactly. I'll return to Engineering immediately.
I think you should. Your holodeck activities can wait until later.
And, Commander?
Consult Lt Barclay on this latest incident.
I'd like to very much. La Forge out.
We need to find Barclay now.
Cast aside your masks
and let me slip into your minds.
Muzzle it.
We have a lot to talk about, Mr. Barclay.
Barclay and I had better get to Engineering.
I couldn't keep my eyes open.
I'd worked 1 2 hours on the power systems
and then the transporter went down.
You had a chance to get help from the real Troi.
- Instead, you went back in there. - I couldn't help myself.
You could write a book on holodiction.
I know how easy it is to get caught up in it.
- I fell in love in there. - Really?
But I knew when it was time to turn it off and say goodbye.
The people that I create in there are more real to me
than anyone I meet out here, except maybe you, Commander.
I need you out here, Reg. Now more than ever.
The injectors aren't responding to commands.
I think we should drop out of warp.
La Forge to bridge.
Go ahead.
- Recommend we go to impulse power. - Take us out of warp.
Controls are not responding.
- It's the injectors. - Override.
It's not a computer problem.
The mechanism is physically jammed. I can't clear it.
Speed increasing, sir. Warp 7.6,
7.65. Warp 7.7.
We can't shut it down, Captain. Antimatter flow is increasing.
She's accelerating out of control. There is nothing I can do.
- Approaching warp nine, sir. - Red alert.
Estimated time to structural failure?
At this rate, 1 5 minutes, 40 seconds, sir.
Copy that, Geordi? Recommendations?
I'll let you know as soon as we have some.
This ship will tear itself apart in 1 5 minutes.
I want ideas, no matter how outrageous.
How about a magnetic quench?
No. The magnetic fields won't reset.
Are the fuel-inlet servos caught in cycle?
No, the swirl dampers would be frozen.
Nothing showed up in the diagnostic?
The tests showed prob... I mean, there were no problems with the fl...
There's nothing wrong with computer protocols or power systems.
The injectors are just physically jammed!
Injectors freeze, an antigrav unit and a transporter malfunction...
And a twisted glass.
What's the connection?
Exceeding warp 9.4.
Begin evacuation of secondary hull.
Prepare for emergency saucer separation.
Standing by to release docking clamps.
Reroute power to primary hull.
The plasma flow is uneven due to injector lock.
A saucer separation could rupture the warp field.
1 2 minutes to structural failure.
None of the systems involved are connected.
What if one of us is the connection?
- Us? How? - I don't know.
But we're looking for a systemic explanation and there isn't one.
We work with all the affected systems.
What if we're transmitting something ourselves
by touching it or something?
The computer would pick that up.
But if it was something that we couldn't scan,
you might have passed it on to the injectors.
It was your glass, Duffy. You were both there when the antigrav failed.
So was O'Brien.
The transporter malfunction is a connection.
Danger. Approaching safety limits.
Computer, list all substances that would evade a scan.
There are 15,525 known substances
that cannot be detected by scans.
How many of those can exist in oxygen?
And could alter molecular structure when in contact with glass?
On screen at this station! Duffy.
Jakmanite has a half-life of 1 5 seconds. No time to spread it.
Selgninaem and lucovexitrin are highly toxic.
That leaves saltzgadum and invidium, which haven't been used for decades.
Could either of them be the cause?
Most of the affected systems weren't even invented when they were in use.
- Wasn't invidium used in medicine? - A century ago.
The Mikulaks might still use it.
- One of those canisters was broken. - La Forge to bridge.
We have a working theory.
We picked up invidium from a broken canister
and spread it around the ship.
Working theory?
We need a working solution in five minutes.
Understood. We're checking cargo bay five.
Nothing on the tricorder.
Danger. Exceeding safety limits of engine containment field.
Structural failure will occur in three minutes, 30 seconds.
If it's in there, it should show up on one of the polarity channels.
There it is.
Duffy and O'Brien became contaminated.
Invidium at minus 200 degrees Celsius becomes inert.
La Forge to bridge. Invidium has been confirmed.
Recommend we flood the injector pathway conduit with cryonetrium.
Will the injectors come back on line?
They sustained damage.
I can't guarantee that we will regain control.
- We don't have much choice, do we? - No, sir.
Make it so.
Route primary coupling through starboard conduit.
Routeing. Ready for engine core injection.
Structural failure will occur in 45 seconds.
Injector conduit temperature, minus 1 00 degrees.
- Injector control to manual. - Ready.
Temperature now minus 1 90 degrees. Minus 200 degrees, sir.
- Injector status? - Matter injector is on line.
Antimatter injector still locked.
Structural failure will occur in 30 seconds.
Cycle power through ventral relay.
Antimatter injector on line.
Reducing flow capacity.
Commencing warp engine shutdown, sir.
- Stand down from red alert. - Nice work, Geordi.
- Mr. Barclay and I thank you, sir. - Acknowledged.
Recommend we set a course for Star base 121
for a complete systems- and bio-decontamination.
Understood. Picard out.
Glad you were with us out here in the real world, Mr. Barclay.
It has been most difficult to reach this decision to leave you.
But after discussing it at length with Counsellor Troi,
I think it's for the best.
I just wanted to thank you all for your support.
- You'll always be welcome here, Reg. - I know.
That's why it's so difficult to leave.
It was a pleasure to serve with you, Mr. Barclay.
Good luck, Reg.
It's been fun.
..end program.
Erase all programs filed under Reginald Barclay.
Except program nine.

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