Captain's Log :
Star date 4372.5 .
On a top-secret diplomatic mission,
the Enterprise has entered the Tellun star system.
Maintaining communications blackout,
we have taken aboard Petri,
Ambassador from Troyius,
the outer planet,
and are now approaching the inner planet Elas.
Some desk bound Starfleet bureaucrat
cut these cloak-and-dagger orders.
Aye, but why the secrecy?
This star system's under Federation control.
It's in a border area, Mr. Scott.
Klingons also claim jurisdiction.
From what I've seen,
it's not worth fighting about.
Why are we here, Captain?
To cooperate with Ambassador Petri
in all matters pertaining to his mission here.
[Uhura] Bridge to Captain Kirk.
Kirk here. What is it?
Captain, I have a signal from the Elasians.
They're ready to beam aboard.
They demand an explanation for the delay.
Demand? What delay? All right. Beam them aboard.
Sounds typical of the Elasians.
The scientists who made the initial investigation
reported the men were vicious and arrogant.
That's just the negative part, Mr. Spock.
I've been over those records.
The women are supposed to be something very special.
They're supposed to have
a kind of subtle, mystical power
that drives men wild.
Ambassador Petri, would you drop all this nonsense
and tell me what this is about?
That must wait until the Dohlman is aboard.
What the devil is a Dohlman?
The thing most feared and hated by my people.
Our most deadly enemy.
[Transporter Beam]
I am Petri, Ambassador of Troyius.
I'm Captain Kirk.
This ship is under my command.
There's a Troyian here.
I must know that all is secure
before the Dohlman is brought on board.
This ship is secure ...
and we're prepared
for any hostile action.
Do honour to the Dohlman of Elas.
Glory to Elaan,
Dohlman of Elas.
Space ...
the final frontier.
These are the voyages of the star ship Enterprise.
Its five-year mission --
to explore strange new worlds,
to seek out new life and new civilizations,
to boldly go where no man has gone before.
You may stand.
Body armour.
Nuclear weapons.
Not without precedent, Captain.
Remember that --
Permission to speak was not given.
You rule this ship?
I am the first officer.
This is Captain James Kirk.
Your Glory, I am Petri.
In the name of my people --
Your mission is known to us.
Captain Kirk, you have now permission
to show us to our quarters.
Well, now, Just a moment.
There's going to have to be
some kind of understanding.
Please ...
My first officer Mr. Spock
will show you to your quarters.
Ambassador, I'd like to speak to you.
[Elaan] You have not been dismissed.
May I have your permission to go?
You are now dismissed.
Why, thank you.
Ambassador, I think it's time
you told me what's going on.
That creature ... Elaan
is to be the wife of our ruler
to bring peace.
Our two warring planets
now possess the capability
of mutual destruction.
Some method of coexistence
must be found.
I see.
So, we go back to Troyius?
Yes. Ah, but slowly, Captain.
I will need time.
Before we reach there,
she must be taught civilized manners.
In her present condition,
my people would never accept her.
And you are to be her teacher?
Those are my orders.
I must ask you and your crew
to respect, or at least tolerate, their arrogance.
Friction must be kept at a minimum.
Yes, that I can understand.
Another thing you should understand, Captain.
You have as much at stake as I have.
Your superiors made the statement
that failure of this mission
would be as catastrophic for Federation planning
as it would be for our two planets.
To gain peace at the price
of accepting such a queen
is no victory.
I will take her
the official gifts I bear.
Perhaps that will soften her mood.
Mr. Chekov, lay in a course for Troyius.
Mr. Sulu, impulse drive.
Speed factor .037.
Impulse drive, Captain?
Yes, that's correct, Mr. Sulu.
Sub light factor .037.
Aye, aye, sir.
Captain ...
you'll not be using the warp drive?
All the way on impulse?
That'll take a great deal of time.
You in a hurry, Mr. Scott?
Captain, the Dohlman is dissatisfied
with the quarters provided.
What's the matter with them, Mr. Spock?
I do not know,
but all the Elasians seem most irrational.
I gave up my quarters --
I appreciate your sacrifice, Lieutenant Uhura.
I'll talk to her myself.
Swine! Take back your gifts!
Your Glory ...
these are your wedding slippers.
Your ruler cannot buy the favours
of the Dohlman of Elas.
This ... This is your wedding dress,
a gift from the bridegroom's mother.
I want nothing of his!
This ... This is the most prized of royal jewels ...
for your lovely neck.
I would strangle if I was to put
the gift of a Troyian dog around my neck.
Kryton, by whose permission did he enter?
He came in answer to your summons.
I understand you're not happy with your quarters.
[Glass Breaks]
Yes, not happy at all.
Am I a soft Troyian fawn
to need pillows to sit on?
And these ridiculous female trappings.
They are an offense to my eyes.
My communications officer
generously vacated the rooms
hoping you would find it satisfactory.
I do not find them so.
I find him even less satisfactory.
Must my bitterness be compounded
with that ridiculous ambassador
aboard your ship?
I explained to Her Glory
that her council of nobles
and the Troyius Tribunal
Jointly agreed that I should instruct --
make her acquainted
with the customs and manners of our people.
Remove him!
And take that garbage with you?
He dare to suggest
that I adopt the servile manners of his people!
Your Glory doesn't seem to be responding
to instruction.
I will never forgive the council
for putting me through this torture.
Were you responding to my demand
for better quarters?
There are none better.
I suggest you make do with these.
You suggest?
There are no more available.
If that's the only way you can get gratification,
I'll arrange to have the whole room filled from floor to ceiling
with breakable objects.
I will not be humiliated!
Then act in a civilized fashion.
I did not give you permission to leave!
I didn't ask for any.
Captain, I wish to contact my government.
I cannot fulfil my mission.
It would be an insult to our ruler
to bring this incorrigible monster as a bride!
Ambassador! This is supposed to be a peaceful mission.
There cannot be peace between us.
We have deluded ourselves.
Captain, when I am near them,
I do not want peace.
I want to kill them.
You're as bad as she is.
It's not required that you like each other.
Just do your job.
The job -- The job is impossible.
We cannot make peace
with people we detest.
Stop trying to kill each other!
Then worry about being friendly.
But if she won't listen to me --
Then make her listen, Ambassador.
Use a different approach.
Stop being so diplomatic.
She respects strength.
Go in strong.
At first it appeared to be a sensor ghost,
but I've run checks on all the instrumentation.
All the equipment is functioning perfectly.
Hydrogen cloud reflection?
None in this area.
Nothing that would account for it.
The ghost appears intermittently.
None, Captain.
Insufficient data.
It's not an instrument malfunction.
It's not a reflection from a natural phenomenon.
A spaceship?
[Scotty] Engineering to Captain Kirk.
Kirk here.
Captain, I know what you said
about showing respect,
but must I have these persons
fool around with my equipment?
Hang on, Scotty.
Be pleasant no matter how much it hurts.
I'll be right down.
We're only running on impulse engines now.
Ordinarily, we use the warp engines exclusively.
Well ... I suppose ...
lassie ...
that even our impulse engines
must seem fast
compared to your nuclear propulsion units.
We are interested
in how the ship is used in combat,
not in what drives it.
Engines are for mechanics and menials.
Without engines,
there'd be no fighting or --
[Kirk] Mr. Scott!
I wish you had told me
you wanted a tour of the engineering department.
Do we not have the freedom of this ship?
We have granted your crew the permission
not to kneel in our presence.
What else do you want?
Courtesy. Remember?
Courtesy is not for inferiors.
Courtesy is for everyone around here,
and you'll find you won't be able
to exist on Troyius without it.
Mr. Scott, our chief engineer,
has shown you his engineering department.
That's a courtesy.
You respond by saying thank you.
[Intercom Whistles]
[Spock] Bridge to Captain.
Kirk here.
That sensor ghost is moving closer.
On my way.
Lost contact now.
[Door Opens]
Captain, we had a momentary fix on the object,
enough to establish it was a spaceship.
No data yet.
[Sulu] Captain!
Distant bearing, sir.
Mark 73.5.
Main screen.
Extreme magnification.
Our ghost has materialized.
A Klingon warship.
Any change, Mr. Spock?
Negative, Captain.
The Klingon ship has simply moved into contact range.
She is pacing us,
precisely matching our sub light speed
and on a parallel course.
Security to Captain Kirk.
Kirk here. What is it?
Disturbance in the Dohlman's quarters, sir.
On my way.
Captain, it's Ambassador Petri.
They refuse to explain
what's happening with them.
Her Glory has not summoned you.
Kryton, remove that Troyian pig.
It was a deep wound, Jim.
He lost a lot of blood, but he'll recover.
If I recover,
it will be no thanks to you, Captain.
I said talk with her, not fight with her.
I should've known better
than to talk to her unarmed,
but you forced me.
I hold you responsible for this.
Well, I've heard of reluctant brides,
but this is ridiculous.
Captain Kirk.
May I speak with you, sir?
Yes. Certainly.
A message just came from Starfleet Command.
It was class-A security and scrambled.
I put it through the decoder.
The Federation high commissioner
is on his way to Troyius
to attend the royal wedding.
Ambassador, if Elasian women are that vicious,
why are men so overwhelmingly attracted to them?
I mean,
what magic do they possess?
It's not magic.
It's biochemical.
A man whose flesh is once touched
by the tears of a woman of Elas
has his heart enslaved forever.
Ambassador, there's an added complication.
The Federation high commissioner
will be attending the wedding.
The fat will be in the fire
when he learns the bride Just tried to murder
the groom's ambassador.
There will be no wedding.
I would not have our ruler marry that monster
if the entire galaxy depended on it,
and I will have nothing further to do with you.
I'm not asking you to have anything to do with me.
Do your job with her.
How long before he's on his feet?
A few days. A week, at least.
Here you put me, Captain.
Here I will stay.
I have nothing further to say to you.
So ...
Ambassador Petri is going to recover?
That is too bad.
You have delivered your message.
Now you may go.
Nothing would please me more, Your Glory,
but your impetuous nature --
Your Troyian pig was in my quarters
without any permission,
so I stabbed him.
Just to be Troyian is enough.
You Elasians pride yourselves
on being a warrior people.
You must understand discipline,
to be able to give and take orders.
My orders are to take you to Troyius
to be married
and to see that you learn Troyian customs.
I despise Troyians.
Any contact with them makes me feel soiled.
It's been my experience
that the prejudices people feel about each other
disappear when they get to know each other.
It's not my experience.
Well, we're still faced with the same problem.
Yes, the problem of your indoctrination
to Troyian customs and manners.
I have eliminated that problem.
You have eliminated the teacher.
The problem still remains.
And how do we solve the problem?
By ...
giving you a new teacher.
Tell me,
what can you teach me?
Table manners, for one thing.
This is a plate.
It contains food.
This is a knife.
It cuts the food.
- This is a glass. - Leave me!
Like it or not, you're going to learn what you've been ordered!
You will return me to Elas immediately.
That's impossible.
Everything I order is possible.
That's the first problem we'll work on.
Then we'll get you ready to go to Troyius.
I will not go to Troyius,
I will not be mated to a Troyian,
and I will not be humiliated,
and I will not be given to a green pig
as a bribe to stop a war!
You enjoy the privileges and prerogatives
of being a Dohlman.
Then be worthy of them.
If you don't want the obligations
that go along with the title,
then give it up.
Nobody speaks to me that way.
That's another one of your problems.
Nobody's told you
that you're an uncivilized savage,
a vicious child in a woman's body,
an arrogant monster!
That's no way to treat someone
who's telling you the truth.
Tomorrow's lesson will be on courtesy.
Lieutenant, open up the hailing frequency,
Identify us,
and ask the Klingon his intentions.
Aye, sir.
Captain, no response from the Klingon vessel
on any channel.
I see. All right, Lieutenant.
Monitor all frequencies.
Phaser crews stand by.
Maintain yellow alert.
What are you doing?
No one may enter the Dohlman's presence.
Where's Kryton?
On business.
No one may enter the Dohlman's presence.
Will you tell Her Glory
Captain Kirk requests the honour of a visit?
The Dohlman has promised I'll be whipped to death
if I let Captain Kirk pass through that door.
Thank you, Mr. Spock.
When they wake up, take them to Security Holding.
Captain, your analysis of the situation was flawless,
anticipating that she would deny you admittance.
However, the logic by which you arrived at your conclusion
escapes me.
Mr. Spock, the women on your planet are logical.
That is the only planet in this galaxy
that can make that claim.
[Door Opens]
You dare touch a member of the royal family.
Only in self-defense.
Now, are you going to behave or not?
The penalty is death for what you are doing.
We're not on Elas.
We're on my star ship.
I command here.
You are warned, Captain, never to touch me again.
If I touch you again, Your Glory,
it'll be to administer an ancient Earth custom called a spanking,
a form of punishment
administered to spoiled brats.
You have my leave to go.
You forget, Your Glory,
we haven't started your lesson in courtesy.
You can teach me nothing, Captain.
If I have to stay here for 10 light-years,
I will not be soiled by any contact with you.
Very well. I'll send in Mr. Spock or Dr. McCoy.
Either way, you'll be properly prepared for Troyius
as ordered by councils, rulers, and bureaucrats.
Captain ...
there is one thing you can teach me.
No, you were right the first time.
There's nothing I can teach you,
nothing you do not know.
I don't know how to make people like me.
I don't want everybody to hate me.
Well, it's not ...
it's not that people hate you.
It's just that
people don't like to be treated
as though they don't exist.
Ohh ...
It's, uh ...
gotten very, uh ...
Something must've gone wrong
with the ventilation system.
Captain ...
Pardon me, Your Glory.
There will be a short recess.
that ancient Earth custom called spanking ...
what is it?
It's, um ...
It's, uh ...
We'll talk about it later.
Bridge to Captain Kirk.
Mr. Spock --
I have it on my sensor, Lieutenant.
Bridge to Captain Kirk.
Come in, please.
Captain Kirk, please answer.
Kirk here.
Oh, Captain, I'm picking up transmission
from inside the Enterprise.
It's on a tight beam aimed at the Klingon vessel.
Inside the Enterprise?
Can you pinpoint it?
Spock here, Captain.
I'm triangulating now.
It's coming from the engineering section.
Security to Engineering.
Intruder alert.
Security alert to all decks.
Kirk out.
Nobody saw him,
but that devil sneaked in here some way.
Watson must've caught him and was killed.
He had this.
Looks like some sort of transmitter.
It's Klingon. Bones?
Neck snapped clean.
What kind of signal did you send the Klingon ship?
Captain, you must know I will tell you nothing.
Our interrogation techniques are more excruciating
than you're capable of.
I'm aware you're trained to resist
any form of physical torture.
Kirk to Spock.
Spock here, Captain.
Mr. Spock, it was Kryton transmitting.
He refuses to talk.
I'll need you for the Vulcan mind meld.
Captain, I'm sorry. He seemed --
What was he trying to cover
that was so important he had to die for it?
Scotty, he didn't come into Engineering
Just to use the transmitter.
Check every relay.
Captain, you must realize the time --
Don't waste the time telling me about it. Get to it.
Kryton was of a noble family.
He loved me and wanted to marry me.
He was furious when he heard of the announcement
of the wedding plans.
He sold out to the Klingons because of jealousy?
But why speak of unimportant matters
when we can speak about us?
There's a Klingon warship out there.
What's their involvement?
Surely all of this isn't because
they want to stop a marriage.
We should welcome their help.
Elaan, two planets,
an entire star system's stability depends on it.
We have a duty to forget what happened.
Could you do that?
Could you give me to another man?
My orders and yours
say that you belong to another man.
What happened ...
What happened ...
was an accident.
It was no accident.
I chose you, and you chose me.
I have a plan.
With this ship, you could completely obliterate Troyius.
Then there will be no need for the marriage.
And in gratitude,
my people will give you the complete rule of this system.
What kind of a mind could think of such a thing?
He's a Troyian.
[Intercom Buzzes]
[Kirk] Captain?
You cannot resist my love, my love.
[Door Opens]
May we see you a moment?
Jim, may we please have a word with you?
Captain, are you all right?
Did she cry, Jim?
Did she cry?
Did her tears touch you at any time?
Oh, we're in trouble.
Jim, Petri told Christine
the Elasian women have a biochemical substance in their tears
that acts like a super love potion.
According to him, it doesn't wear off.
It is true then, Captain?
It's true.
Bones, you've got to find me an antidote.
I'll try. I'll need tests --
[Intercom Whistles]
Bridge to Captain.
Captain here.
Captain, the Klingon ship has changed course.
It is heading toward us at warp speed.
On my way.
Battle stations.
[Alarm Sounds]
[Door Opens]
Phasers stand by.
Phasers ready, sir.
Their speed is better than warp 6, Captain.
Mr. Chekov, lay in a course
to take us out of this star system.
If they want to fight,
Let's get some maneuvering room.
Course computed, sir.
Laid in, Captain.
All right. Ahead warp factor 2.
[Scotty] Captain, the matter- anti-matter --
Belay that order. What, Scotty?
The anti-matter pods are rigged to blow up
the moment we go into warp drive.
Scotty, that bomb -- can you dismantle it?
Not without being blown across the galaxy.
Give us every ounce of power you can
from the impulse drive.
Find a solution to the bomb. Kirk out.
Mr. Sulu, stand by to make your maneuvers smartly.
She'll be sluggish on response.
Aye, sir.
100,000 kilometres.
Phaser crews, stand by to fire on command.
Hold your fire.
She's passed us without firing a shot.
I don't think they meant to attack us.
We were very fortunate this time.
Their tactics are quite clear now, Mr. Spock.
They were trying to make us cut in warp drive.
We'd have blown ourselves up
and solved their problem
without risking war with the Federation.
Very neat.
Very. But why do the Klingons
consider the possession of this system so vital?
That's a very good question, Mr. Spock.
I have another question, Captain.
Is not the bridge the wrong place for the Dohlman
at a time like this?
I'll be the judge ...
Yes, you're ...
you're quite right.
Thank you, Mr. Spock.
I want you to go to Sick Bay.
It's the best protected part of the ship.
I want to be by your side.
Your presence here is interfering with my efficiency --
my ability to protect you.
Mr. Spock, you have the con.
Deck five.
I love you.
I have chosen you,
and still I don't understand
why you didn't fight the Klingon.
If I can accomplish my mission
by turning tail and running,
I'll gladly do that.
And that mission is to take me to Troyius.
Would you have me wearing my wedding dress for another man
and never see you again?
Yes, Elaan.
Are you happy at the prospect?
[Intercom Whistles]
Scott to Captain.
Kirk here.
I've got bad news, Captain.
The entire dilithium crystal converter assembly is fused.
No chance of repair.
It's completely unusable.
No chance of restoring warp drive?
Not without dilithium crystals.
We can't even generate enough power
to fire our weapons.
Kirk out.
Elaan, I have to go back to the bridge.
Please, you must go to Sick Bay.
Yes, my love.
Test number 24. Colladium trioxide in algobarium solution.
Results also negative.
Doctor, there is no antidote
to the poison of Elasian tears.
The men of Elas have tried desperately
for centuries to dispel its power.
You're wasting your time, Doctor.
It is my time to waste, Ambassador.
Doctor, the captain asked me
to come here for safety.
What is your estimate of our chances for survival, Doctor?
That is the captain's responsibility, Ambassador.
Captain, message from the Klingon ship.
They're ordering us to stand by for boarding or be destroyed.
They demand an immediate reply.
They're trying to force a fight.
Scotty, what's our energy status?
93% of impulse power, sir.
We can still maneuver.
Maneuver? Aye.
We can wallow like a garbage's cow
against a warp-driven star ship.
Our shields will hold for a few passes,
but without the matter- anti-matter reactor,
we've no chance.
Captain, can you not call Starfleet?
And let the Klingons know they succeeded
in wiping out our warp engines?
Help could not arrive before
the Enterprise was destroyed.
Now that we are all about to die,
I ask you once again to accept this necklace,
and to wear it
as a token of respect
for the desperate wishes of your people and mine
for peace.
That's all you men of other worlds can speak of,
duty and responsibility.
We'll stall for time.
Proceed on course and hope the Klingons can be bluffed,
or that they're not prepared for a general war.
Open a hailing frequency.
Frequency open, sir.
This is Captain James Kirk
of the U.S.S. Enterprise on Federation business.
Our mission is peaceful,
but we're not prepared to accept any interference.
Enterprise, prepare to be boarded or destroyed.
I'd say our strategy wasn't totally effective.
Captain, the Klingon ship is closing
on an intercept course.
500,000 kilometres.
Deflector shields up.
Scotty, can you give me partial power on the phaser banks?
No, sir, not a chance.
300,000 kilometres.
I told you to stay in Sick Bay.
I want to die with you.
We're not going to die.
Now get off the bridge.
100,000 kilometres.
He's past us. All shields held.
Mr. Sulu, bring her to 143 mark 2.
Keep our forward shields to him.
Here he comes again, sir.
Stay with the controls.
Keep our forward shields to him.
Better than warp 7.
Hard over, Sulu. Bring her around.
He's going for our flank.
Sorry, Captain. She won't respond fast enough on impulse.
He's past us again.
Damage to number four shield.
How bad?
It will not withstand another full charge, Captain.
I'm getting some very peculiar energy readings.
He's paralleling us again.
He seems to have broken off the attack.
What sort of readings, Mr. Spock?
She is the source.
The necklace.
What kind of jewels are in this?
They call them radans.
The necklace is supposed to bring you luck.
It is of little value.
They are common stones.
These are common stones?
See, Captain?
Here and here.
Common stones?
Now I see why the Klingons are interested
in this system.
May I have this?
If I can be of any help, of course.
You may have Just saved our lives.
Mr. Spock, do you think Scotty could make use
of dilithium crystals?
No doubt, Captain.
[Sulu] He's coming in again, sir.
Mr. Sulu, prepare on my order
to turn quickly to port.
Try and protect the number four shield.
Aye, sir.
Now, Sulu. hard to port!
Shields holding, but weakened, sir.
Message coming in.
Enterprise, our readings confirm
your power extremely low,
your shields buckling.
This is your last chance to surrender.
Captain, number four shield just collapsed.
Impulse power down to 31%.
Lieutenant Uhura, open a hailing frequency.
Channel open, sir.
This is Captain James Kirk
of the United Spaceship Enterprise.
May I request your terms for surrender?
No terms.
Surrender must be unconditional and immediate.
Scotty, your estimate.
We're fitting it now, sir,
but we'll have to run tests to make sure.
Test it in combat.
Captain, these are crude crystals.
There's no way to judge
what the unusual shapes will do to the energy flow.
That could blow us up --
Let me know when it's in place.
Open a hailing frequency.
Hailing frequency open, sir.
This is the Enterprise.
Will you guarantee the safety
of our passenger, the Dohlman from Elas?
No conditions.
Surrender immediately.
Captain, he's starting his run.
[Intercom Whistles]
Scott to Captain. It's in place, sir,
but I can't answer for what happens.
You and Spock get up here.
Sulu, prepare for warp maneuvers.
Aye, sir.
Chekov, arm photon torpedoes.
Photon torpedoes ready.
Warp power to the shields, Captain?
Negative. His sensors will pick up our power increase.
The more helpless he thinks we are,
the closer he'll come.
As he passes, I want to cut in warp drive.
We'll pivot at warp 2 and bring all tubes to bear.
Aye, sir.
Mr. Chekov, give him a full spread
of photon torpedoes.
Aye, Captain.
100,000 kilometres.
Scotty, stand by to cut in warp drive.
It's the shape of the crystals.
I was afraid of that.
Fire at minimum range.
She won't steady down.
Warp in, Scotty. Full power to shields.
Warp factor 2.
Lay us a course 148 mark 3.
Chekov ...
photon torpedoes fire!
Aye, sir.
Direct hit amidships by photon torpedo.
Damage to Klingon number three shield.
Number four shield obliterated.
Loss of maneuver power.
He's badly damaged, Captain.
Continuing away at reduced speed.
Secure from general quarters.
Well done, Mr. Sulu.
But I don't understand you.
You mean you won't pursue and finish him off?
Mr. Sulu, resume course for Troyius.
Aye, aye, sir.
You will not beam down for the ceremony?
I want you to have this
as a personal memento.
I have learned that on Troyius,
they do not wear such things.
Remember me.
I have no choice.
Nor have I.
I have only responsibilities and obligations.
It's stabilized now.
Spock, I've isolated the biochemical substance
of the Elasian tears.
It's a kind of infection,
and I think I found an antidote.
Too late, Doctor.
The captain has found his own antidote.
Are you out of your Vulcan mind?
Do you know how long --
The antidote to a woman of Elas is a star ship.
The Enterprise infected the captain before the Dohlman.
Mr. Sulu, prepare to take us out of orbit.
Well, I doubt seriously
if there's any kind of an antidote for the Enterprise.
In this particular instance, Doctor,
I agree with you.
Ahead warp factor 2.
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